I always have in my blog a year-ender summary, numbered up to hundred. But this year, I was not able to do it. Tinatamad ako eh, bat ba? Lol. So before the clock strikes at 12, I will post the things...haha, whatever comes to my mind.

Okaaay. Ang hirap pala! Sige, para may sistema, by month ang order. :))

JANUARY

• I can't remember how I welcomed the year. Lol
• Busy with SP
• Busy with selling SP products (Yehesss! The ZMJ Enterprises Rennet)

FEBRUARY

• Finished the SP draft under the supervision of Tandybear. (Oo. Wala ko nahita sa adviser ko. AMP!)
• Watched the Harmonya Concert (Stage GF. Lol)
• Unfair FebFair (SP eh. Haneeep)
• AEMS brods' valentine surprise
• Nasurprise ako kasi wala kong surprise nung Vday. Amp. Haha
• Watched Bach to Basics
• Best sem ever since everything was going smoothly. 

MARCH

• Watched the goodbye concert of Sugarfree in Libis
• First. >:))
• Had my first EX.
• My batchmate was named the next Lady Chancellor! :D
• SP Defense!
• WASTED. LOST. BITTER.
• Punched him in the face!!!
• Graduating.
• Failed my Econ101 Removal exam.
• Cryola all-you-can
• Failed the removal of the removal.
• DEPRESSION
• FAMILY is still the best.
• Moving on: Stage 1

APRIL

• SUPER DEPRESSION
• Found a job (Thanks Sir Arrienda)
• Met my Mommy Kelly <3
• First pay!
• Petix! :))

MAY

• Had dental braces
• Movies galore! (Thanks Torrentz)
• Got my passport
• Squatter sa Hostel TROLOLOL

JUNE

• Enrolled the last three units of my college with my own money
• Had my hair rebonded
• Surprise visit :))
• crushin'

JULY

• Chill
• More movies :))
• Submitted recommendations for the management of hostel
• DEADMA LANG SILA!!!

AUGUST

• Finally moved to C9.
• CEMplangan dance rehearsals
• Had my hair colored. :)
• Wildest thing done for love. Lol

SEPTEMBER

• Bitterness at its finest
• Deactivated Facebook account
• Found my first love after eleven years
• Placed 2nd, our Dance entry
• Pinaasa na naman ako!!! ///

OCTOBER

• Best month of the year! :D
• Graduated from college :))))
• First time to join fun run
• First time to attend Loyalty Day as alumna
• Worked as a documentor for NAPC
• Met different kinds of people
• Treat orgmates to SPLASH ISLAND!
• Applying job online
• Got my first job, resigned to previous work
• Met new friends
• Had myself familiarized around Metro Manila
• Flirted with my team leader. Lol

NOVEMBER

• First time to attend a Halloween party. (Company)
• Had difficulties dealing with colleagues and other stuff that are work-related
• Our head count in the office gets smaller
• 11-11-11, I decided to quit
• Bummer
• Bought myself an iPod Nano 5thGen :D

DECEMBER

• BUMMER STILL :P
• Found my faith back
• Realized how enjoyable it is to stay at home. HAHAHA
• Finished American Horror Story Season 1
• Kissed a girl. :p
• First time in Isdaan
• Celebrated 5th Anniv  (TMH)
• Read The Hunger Games
• Started playing Tetris Battle :))
• First time in MetroWalk
• Realized how fortunate I am after all the things happened in CDO, Iligan and other parts of Mindanao.
• Realized that the meaning of Christmas is really in its first six letters.
• First time to not watch any MMFF entry. :p

Feeling ko kulang to. Bitin ang 2011. Hoho. Next year I hope I could write more. MORE GOOD VIBES! :)))

So this is Christmas.. and what have I done?

As I type this, it feels like my head is going to explode. It hurts sooo much. I couldn't sleep early because I have just woken up. I guess it's eye strain. I just realized that I was free from wearing eyeglasses for a month now. Yeah. LIKE A BOSS. I just don't like wearing it. HASSLE. But what will I do? My life is dependent on the internet. This is me everyday. Even though its Christmas and there's so much to celebrate. The internet ate my lifestyle. This is what I did last Christmas eve. I just stayed here in my lousy room, planking in my bed staring at you Nobi. Browsing, commenting repeat till fade.

I just ate a little. It was my second rice meal since yesterday. Is it me alone who cannot eat because of getting full with food just by looking at them or just by smelling them? I know. It's kinda weird. I feel sick. I feel just like when I was diagnosed with anorexia. It scares me. I want to eat a lot, just like the old times when I am at home but I cannot. I am too lazy to get down. I am too cold to move around.

Christmas. It's the birth of Jesus. It's the first time I didn't think of myself. I realized that today is not for any of us but to God alone. I didn't wish for anything. As I say my prayer in the church early this morning, I can't thank God enough for all His kindness. Although I am a bummer now and feels useless, at least I have something I can call HOME. Safe and sound, with so much feasting and celebration. That's why I felt annoyed until now when someone greets me Merry Christmas as if today is my birthday. Yeah. I AM ANNOYED. Specially on Facebook. Srsly? You will greet every single person who's online? Uggh..

I felt relieved when I found out that we are not the only family who do not celebrate Christmas eve like we celebrate New Year's. Since a child, I always thought of this. WHY NO CELEBRATE NOCHE BUENA? While our neighbors have videoke and fireworks and everything. But as time pass by, I just got used to it. Christmas, Javier style, celebrates it in the morning just right after we have heard mass. Children will come to our house with their parents asking for Christmas treats. I remember when I was younger, only relatives visit us. But now, Mother of God... WHO THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE??? But still, giving is the essence of Christmas, so yeah. Merry Christmas!


Half of the day, I spent it in Manila. Jay and I accompanied Ninang Paula to NAIA3, then straight ahead to Glorietta to treat ourselves. Unfortunately the malls will open at 12. It was 11am when we got there. I was freaking hungry so we ate to somewhere available: Luk Yuen. Ugggh. We should have went home earlier instead. Pffft.

And when we arrived home, I was really sleepy. But when I went here to my room as I opened Nobi, all my senses got back. So there. I was trolling Christmas day. Then Botchog came and I was really surprised! And then I told her about my iPod Nano5, selling it. She was decided to buy it right away. I was just joking but she was damn serious. And then Jose Rizal came through our terrace. And we got pictures. And then they left. And I fell asleep. Then I woke up, with this head, screwing!  -The End-

'tis The Season To Be Jolly ^_^

December 21, 2011

A Day of Happiness. Every year, our family goes to some place to celebrate Christmas. This year, we had it earlier and sadly we were few. Only four of us. Any, it was fun! It was my first time in Isdaan, a Floating-Resto in Calauan, Laguna. I was shocked because I thought it would be today. I had to go to resort later that day in the afternoon for my batch in Soro to celebrate our fifth anniv. I quickly packed my things and off to go. Kuya Paolo was not available as well as my brother. Tita Marie was nowhere to be found. Also Jojo. Lola refused to go with us. She prefers to stay at home actually.

Love these Angry Birds. Muntik nga lang ako makita. Lol

This is how we roll! \m/

Maliligalig! :p

Define SUMPTUOUS. For only Php600! :))

Imma try this! TACSIYAPO!!! >:))

I didn't go with them to SM anymore. So they dropped me off in a place where we found love. Chos!

Oh hello sisses! ♥

Coz I miss you soooo much Beshie! :*

Batch Maingay? Pinakamalupit I guess. >:))

Overflowing food, booze, fun, games, laughs. It was nice reminiscing! Happy 5th TMH'06!  ♥   ♥  ♥

And whatever happiness I am feeling, I still feel empty. Because I know, you are that one piece missing... ///

T__________________T

Susulitin ko na ang kalungkutan ko. Ayoko namang salubungin ang taon na ganito, baka malasin ako.
Sana maging okay lahat. Magkatrabaho nako. Maging busy. Para wala nako masyadong iniisip na kung ano. Ang sakit na kasi sa puso. Umiyak na naman ako kahapon buti nalang madami akong kaibigan. Syempre libre na naman ako. Edi ako na nabubuhay sa libre. Ilang araw ako nagstay sa Elbi last week simula concert ng Choral Ensemble hanggang Sunday morning, pamasahe lang papunta gastos ko. Lol. Atsaka syempre yung ticket ng CE. Ang arte ko na naman. Ayoko na nga. Bukas magiging masaya na naman ako. Fifth anniv ng Take My Hand! ^^ Mamamatay na naman ako sa kakatawa! Okay. Napakarandom nito. Basta. Wala ko masabi. Di ko madescribe kalungkutan ko talaga e. AMP. :(

Utot ng Utak Bilang Sawi Ako.

Namimiss na kita. Pero yung miss na tolerable. Hindi na kaya ng dati na nagffreak out nako para lang makita ka. Nakakatawa nalang tuloy. Pero gusto kitang makita. Gusto kita makausap. Gusto ko makakwentuhan kita. Yung mahaba. Yung parang dati. Kahit mag-aaway tayo, pero ang totoo hindi naman talaga. Gusto kitang makatabi. Gusto kitang mayakap. Gusto kita maamoy. Yung kili-kili mo na nakaka adik. Kahit sobrang payat mo, pag niyakap mo ko pakiramdam ko safe ako. Walang makakapanakit sakin. Wala kong dapat intindihin o alalahanin. Kelan nga ba tayo huling ganito? Hindi ko na maalala. Hindi ko na matandaan. Kapag nga iniisip ko paano tayo nag-aaway dati at pano tayo nagbabati, walang tumatak sa isip ko. Pakiramdam ko sobrang bilis ng mga pangyayari saten. Parang ang iksi ng isang taon at apat na bwan. Namimiss ko na ang boses mo lalo pag tatawagan mo ko. Dati rati halos araw-araw mo kong tinatawagan. Lumalaki ang bill mo nang dahil sakin pero wala akong narinig sayo. Nag-Globe ka pa nga para lang matext kita kahit yung Smart mo parin naman ang pinangrereply mo. Lahat ng gusto ko sinunod mo. Kahit sobrang moody ko. Namimiss ko na ang mag-jam tayo. Kahit na paulit-ulit lang ang tinutugtog mo. Kahit na hindi mo tinatapos ang mga kanta kasi hindi mo saulo. Namimiss ko yung kinakanta mo sakin pag matutulog nako. Yung Pangasinense na kanta. Kahit wala ka sa tono, ansarap parin sa tenga. Namimiss ko yung lambingan. Kahit na alam ko na sa totoong buhay pag may narinig ako ng ganon din ang ginagawa eh mabubwisit ako. Namimiss ko yung paghalik mo sakin sa noo at paghawak mo sa pisngi ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero kinikilig ako pag ginagawa mo yun. Namimiss ko yung pag hahawakan mo ang kamay ko habang naglalakad tapos aalisin ko kasi nagiinarte ako. Hahawakan mo kasi ako sa bewang na mas gusto ko na ginagawa mo. Namimiss ko yung pagdaan sa may basang part papuntang Clemente. Bababahin mo kasi ako para lang di ako mabasa ng tubig kanal.Namimiss ko yung pagkain naten kung san san kahit mahal mapasaya mo lang ako. Namimiss ko yung pagsasabi ko sayo ng kahit na ano. Andyan ka lang para makinig at iyakan. Andyan ka para patawanin ako. Hindi ko nga alam e. Hindi ka naman nakakatawa kung tutuusin pero kaya kong makasama ka buong maghapon sa usapan lang. Namimiss ko yung ganun. Namimiss ko yung dating ikaw at ako. Pero alam ko pag sinabi ko to sayo, pag hinanap na naman kita, magagalit ka. Ibang-iba ka na. Hindi na ata talaga kita kilala...

That awkward moment when you see your ex and you are wearing "Looking for Mr.Right" statement shirt in your reddest bitchy lipstick

And it doesn't feel right. I was with Mamuds awhile ago in SM Calamba. We were in The Old Spaghetti House. The desserts were just served when I heard a familiar sound. I was just suspicious. I knew it was them. And to check it, POSITIVE! HARMONYA was playing in the activity area. I rushed to see if Frog..I mean Froi was there. And POSITIVE. He was in the middle.

Since then, my heart beat faster. I was shaky. My whole body was! Weird but it was just it. We rushed to finish eating to still watch them play. Haha. We were on the side at first. But when the people were moving, Mamuds just pushed me at the center. Yes! Just in front of him! >:)))

IKR? Bitchy me. HAHAHAHA. Tignan ko lang kung makatugtog ka ng ayos! >:p

And he glanced at me once in a while. Tibaaaaay! Kung ako yun walk out nako. Di nako makakakalabit ng kwerdas! LETCHE!!!

Then all of a sudden I heard someone shouting.. "FROIIIIIII....."

I looked at back and surprised to see my batchmates in Soro! HAHAHAHAHAHHA. FML!!!
I chose the date with Mamuds since she invited me earlier. My batchmates watched a movie and they bullied me when they saw me at that spot!

Wala na naman ako nasabe! Ako na barado! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Hindi ko naman talaga pinlano ang lahat!!!! Tanginalang eh!

And then their performance ended with me still defending myself to my batchmates. Mamuds told me he was looking for me after the performance. Ewan ko kung totoo!

But when we were about to leave, I waved at him and said goodbye. He waved back. I was happy.

Up to this moment I am still nervous. Just weird. Damn!

Christmas Wishlist 2011

Okay this will be in random order. I'll just put whatever pops in my head.

• The result of my application.

                    I just really need it too bad whatever it is. If No, okay. I'll move on. If Yes, happy me to start 2012!

• Revlon Red Lipstick

                    Mamuds (Che-che) promised me this. And she will get it for me..TODAY! Yay! :D

• Sennheiser Earphones or Philipps In-Ear Headset

                     I really want!!!! For my iPod Nano5! Gaaaaaaah! @_@

• iPhone4 or BB phone

                      I'm actually contented with my Nokia phone but if you insist, Thank you! I am a very good receiver! ^__^

• Capdase Watch Strap

                       White will do! Or blue, black or yellow! Or all of them! ^___^

• UP Jacket

                         I never had one. Please give me! Lol

• Katy Perry Concert Ticket

                         I just looooove this girl! And I really want to watch her concert next year in MOA Concert Grounds! @_@

• Clinique Happy Perfume
• MAC Make Up
• Super duper soft cuddly pillow (Yung malaki!)
• Running Shoes Size 8

There. I can't think of anything else. I'm just being realistic. Lol. What Mamuds took so long? Ugggh. We should be leaving nao! :| Kthnxbye.

Things To Do Before I Graduate: The Things I Missed in my Checklist

It's been two months already since I graduated from my beloved university. But then I realized I have so much in my "Things To Do Before I Graduate" list. Haaay. Five years and one semester. Ano bang pinaggagagawa ko nun? Lol. Such a waste! Tsktsk. Pero alam ko nag-enjoy naman ako, kulang parin pala? Hehe. Anyways, I forgot my checklist but just to freshen up everything, I will name things I wish to do instead. In no particular order. :)

• Go soul-searching in St. Marc Chapel or Pook Bathala

                   This place is famous but I never get to go here, ever! It's called the church with no walls. I really don't know that's why I want to experience it myself. Lol. This place was the wedding location of one of Regine Velasquez's movie in the 90's.

• Go biking around the campus.

                    So simple and yet I didn't have the chance to do this in my entire stay in Elbi. Tsk. Hmmm.. One of these days. Mura lang naman rental ng bike siguro noh?

• Climbing/Trekking Mt. Makiling

                    Hanggang Flat rocks lang ako eh, nung nag Team Building kami sa Soro..hmmm 2007? Sobrang pagod na pagod nga ko eh. Pero ngayon, promise! I will endure all the pain and everything just to fulfill one of my wishes!

• Watch the UAAP Cheerdance Competition

                     Isa pa 'to! Frustration ko talaga makanood ng Live! Nasasakto kasi na CEMplangan Talents' Night. Hmmm...

• Get the title of the CEMplangan Dance Competition

                       I should not include this in my list anymore pero frustration ko din to. Last time, second place lang kasi kami. And yes, by 0.6 points! :/

• Play basketball/volleyball

                         Since usapang CEMplangan naman to, ayan. Frustration ko kasi maging MVP. HAHAHAHAHA. Seriously. But I never had a chance to play and train. Ewan ko. Maarte kasi ako e. :p Alam naman din nila na frustration ko yun kaya lang ewan. Di nalang nangyari.  Hehe

• Be a part of a Chorale Ensemble

                           Usapang frustrations ba? Ayan. Pangarap ko talagang mag-chorale eh. Ever since freshman ako, balak ko talagang sumali. Himig UPLB pa yung naririnig ko nun. Eh since "bawal" daw sumali ang freshman, stay put lang ako. Tapos hanggang sa narecruit nako sa Eagles tapos sa Aems... hanggang sa wala nakong chance. This is my biggest frustration ever! At sobrang nakakastress kasi passion ko talaga ang kumanta. Haaaaaay . May mga bagay siguro talaga na hindi talaga para sakin... :'(

• Go skinny-dipping in Baker Hall's swimming pool

                             Wala lang. Trip trip lang. Hehe. Syempre yung hindi ako mahuhuli! :)))



Marami pa kong gusto ilagay eh like make out under the fertility tree, chos! HAHAHAHAHA. Wala nako maisip. Or yung mga naisip ko, di naman na attainable. Gusto ko pa nga sana ilagay yung mga checked na sa list ko kaya lang... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. AYOKO NGA! :P :))))))))))))))

Top Ten Reasons Why Men Shouldn't Have Me as Their Girlfriend

#10.  I am not lady-like. I kick ass. Seriously. Lol
         Malakas ako manuntok. At hindi basta basta suntok, yun tipong mapapamura ka talaga at mababadtrip ka dahil babae ang nakagawa non sayo. Hehe. Sige, try mo gumanti! B-A-D-I-N-G! :)))) Ganyan lang talaga ko maglambing. :"> Nanununtok nga pala ako ng wala wala lang. Hehe

#9. No month-saries, week-saries or day-saries chuvaness.
         Like duhhh??? Not even existing in the English dictionary! Yes. Heard it right. Ayoko ng mga kadiring celebrations every month or every week! Hell no daily!!! Pwede ba???? Kung sino man ang nakaisip ng mga kacheapang to eh kayo kayo nalang! Pshhh. If I know negosyante nakaisip nito! Or yung mga batang malalanding di umaabot ng anniversary ang relasyon. Tsktsk. Nakakastress! Imagine? Sobrang gastos nyan at sobrang clingy-type kasi diba required kayo na magcelebrate. Di rin ako yung ma-bear o ma-flowers. Chocolates siguro pwede, pero dapat dark. Hayyy. Oh well, kanya kanya nga namang trip yan pero yun nga..not my type.

#8. I am not into PDA.
          Yes. The Public Display of Affection. Nakakairita lang! Di ko lang masikmura ang sarili ko na kinasusuklaman ko kasi nasusuklam ako sa mga gumaganito. Yung mga couple shirts, mugs, umbrella, tsinelas, tootbrush, toys, screwdrivers, utensils, knives, molos at kung anek anek pang merchandise.. KADIRI LANG! Nuff said.


#7. I am very vocal. I am fluent in sarcasm and profanity.
            Sorry. I couldn't help it. This is how I really am. If I am not talking then it's a bigger problem for you to handle.  Simple lang, dapat wag kang tatanga-tanga at di ka balat-sibuyas :) Sometimes kasi (joke, most of the time 'to) this is how I make connection with people. If I get to use foul words to them, then I feel comfortable already. Ibig sabihin, feeling ko, close na tayo! :D

#6  I eat like a construction worker. Lels~
               Oh baket???? At least honest diba? HAHAHA. :))))  At hindi lang pala ko basta basta kumakain, pihikan ako sa pagkain. Sobrang moody lang ng panlasa ko. At kung ano gusto ko, dapat masusunod. Hehe. Yan ang sikreto kaya di ako manaba. Ang arteh ko kasi! :P

#5 Just mentioned in #6: MAARTE AKO.
                Normal naman ata sa babae yun. Pero I make sure naman na binabagayan yung kaartehan ko. Sa pagkain? Forever na yun siguro. Di naman ako ma-make up, sakto lang. Di ako ganun ka-vain. Hmmm...Pano bang maarte? Basta. Hahaha. Napaka abstract pala ng kaartehan! Lol

#4 I've got crazy ideas and impulsive wants/cravings.
                 Kadikit siguro to nung #5. Hehe. I've got demands that must be met. Oo. Puro kaartehan lang din. HAHAHAHAHA. Basta kung ano lang maisipan ko, syempre dapat masakyan ang trip ko. >:)) Depende, for example gusto ko bigla makakita ng elepante or maglaro ng chinese garter. Ganong ka-extremes. As in. Depende sa topak ko. Lol :))))

#3 SELOSA AKO. SOBRA.
                   I think every girl has insecurities naman. Well, as for me, ayoko lang talaga ng ganitong pakiramdam kasi sobrang low ng self-esteem ko. IKR? HAHAHAHA. Ang yabang ko lang tapos biglang sabing low self-esteem? Waw! HAHA. Seryoso. Basta, I have so many issues about my self na pag may ganitong involve na feeling sobrang affected talaga ko. Di pa naman ako papatay! Pero ewan ko lang din..Haha. Pero yung talagang dadamdamin ko and mababawasan ako ng kumpyasa lalo sa sarili.

#2 When you got me, #s 10, 8 and 7 will somehow be out of my mind already. Lels~              
                    Definitely love is blind. Lol. If the intensity of the feelings will be greater, then the mentioned numbers above will surely be disregarded. By whom? By me. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Eh ganon talaga? Ano? Forever akong masama? Di ba pwedeng maglambing din? Malambing naman ako eh. Pramis! :"> Proven yan. :P

#1 I am not really looking for a boyfriend. 
                      I am a self-claimed hopeless-romantic. That's why I don't celebrate month-saries and the like. I am not the short-term type. I  am waiting for my true love. Ge ge. Pagtawanan mo ko pero yan ang totoo. I don't want to be just anybody's girlfriend. I want to be someone else's destiny. Haha. Kapal ko ba? Syempre no? Kasi I make sure that when I found the person, I will give him everything the best I can. Mahirap talaga ko i-please, that's a fact. But once you did, jackpot ka naman! I hope I made my points clear. Bow. Haha. ^___^

The only thing constant in this world is CHANGE.

Yeah. Just changed my blog theme. Err..background. The same as my twitter's. 

Wala lang. Feel ko lang. Lol. Sarap sa mata eh. So kahit di mo gusto nababasa mo dito, at least cool pa din ang effect ng blog ko. Lels~ HAHAHAHAHA. Kahit na mukha ko pa rin naman ang nakadisplay. :p

Will update more often. Ganyan talaga. Bum eh. :|

I told you. You'll regret this.

It's been awhile. And yet I still miss you. Not that much. Just enough.

Why is it hard to forget you? How can I forget you if there are lots of things that keep me reminding of you. Your scent that I cannot erase from my memory. I remember one time I was walking from Calamba Terminal and then I just sniffed this your scent, I slowed down even though I know that it's impossible to be you I will find. Also the bouquet of wilted rose I have in my room. My aunt told me to put it away in trash I just don't know what's holding me back.

That bouquet. You gave that to me as a Valentine gift year 2010. I told you I wanted to be serenaded by my brods and get a bouquet. I didn't expect you would materialize it. Because it's not your personality to be sweet and thoughtful. And then I was surprised by them in my Stat1 Lecture class. I was the only girl to get serenaded and be given such treat with my handsome brods of course! I was so shy! I wasn't able to concentrate on the pop quiz and the whole lecture after that! You picked me up after the class and I told you how expensive the bouquet was. It was one and a half dozen of red roses! I just thought that you could have used the money for other things or just bought a dozen instead. And yes, we had fight over this. Hehe. You thought that I didn't appreciate what you've done. My point was it wasn't your effort at all. You just paid the roses and the services but it wasn't you who made it possible. I just wish you could surprise me by some other things you did your own. But you never understood.

How can I forget you if when I'm touching myself all I could imagine is you? Are you thinking of somebody else? Or you are too busy with your guitars and laptop? Or I should stop this and be holy again. I should have stopped long ago but it's too painful for me. I still care. I can't fool myself.

Someday, when you realize how important am I to you, that you still love me and want me back. you'll come back to me and do everything to make our relationship work again. I swear, NO MORE! Even though I still love you and I still care, one thing is for sure.. I don't like you anymore.

Once Upon a Time ♥

I was raised being read with fairy tales by my aunties and uncles. My favorite was the story of Cinderella and I never thought that her story will also be mine. Yes. Less the three step sisters of course. I have a brother though but I love him now. Hehe. Through these books I appreciated reading. That's why at six, I was a fast reader already.

I remember what my Kuya Paolo (cousin) told me when I was in Grade 6. Children shouldn't be exposed to these stories because they will have false hopes. As what he was trying to say.. there's no prince charming or true love or happy ending. Children should be given a dose of reality!

I realized that somehow my cousin was right. So after that, my dream of a fairy tale wedding/happy ever after faded away. But I never lost faith in true love. Yes. It's different. Too much to elaborate. Lol

Then, 2007, the movie Enchanted was released. It was the best fairy tale story ever since it touched the world of reality as well. It reignited my hopes that happy ever after do exists. And the theme song of course!

"I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss..."

HAHAHAHA. Very me. Lol :))))

Despite of my failed relationship, I still hang on to this theme song,.. on this movie. I still believe that true love will eventually find me. :)

Now that Once Upon a Time is airing! :D It's an American TV series that is much like the story of Enchanted where fairy tales and the real world meets. I also found out that my real character now is more of Snow White since she doesn't have any step sisters. Lol. And because the real personality of Snow White is revealed as being cocky and strong-willed. Not the usual prim and proper type of princess.

I am really hooked! I wish I could watch every episode! There are more to reveal with every fairy tale we know. Kids of all ages should definitely watch this! It's not your usual fairy tale. ♥

Today is a learning. Tomorrow is the BEGINNING. :)

And this is me. NOW.

No job. No money. Totally lost.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. :|

Naubos pera ko sa Appco. At wala ko kinita don. Meron naman. Konting konti lang. Tangina. Hindi ko na alam mangyayari sakin. Ang gusto ko lang naman eh oras para sa sarili at pamilya (kung meron man). Ang hirap kasi ng trabaho sa sales. I don't have all the time in the world. Plus ang layo ng bahay ko, pagod pa. Haaaay. Yun lang naman eh. Gusto ko lang kumita ng di nasasagasaan ang leisure time ko. Pwede ba yon???

11-11-11, nawalan ako ng trabaho. HAHA. I resigned. I didn't plan it at all. Inimpulse lang ako ng branch manager namin to finally say I want to quit. And with no further adieu, she told me to get my things. HANEEEEEEP! Di man lang nag "Are you sure?" Lol. Kaloka! eh di yon, GOODBYE.

Kasi naman, 25 kami three weeks ago. Hulaan mo ilan natira?


LIMA. Hehe. Oh diba? Sino ba naman ang gaganahan nyan? Tsktsk. Nakakaiyak lang kasi ayoko pa naman talaga umalis. Though napapagod nako and all, I still want to give myself a chance to make it into that business. Pero yun nga, feeling ko hopeless nadin yung manager ko kaya parang wala na sa kanya. DO OR DIE kumbaga. Sobrang lungkot ko nung araw na yon kasi yun nga, di ko naman sya plinano. Tapos yung HR pa namen na sobrang bait, nalungkot din sa pag-alis ko. I knew from the very beginning that I was her favorite though we barely talk after I got hired. Natuwa din ako sa Country head kasi kinausap pa nya ko and wished me all the best in my next career. Wala lang. Anlungkot though feeling ko nabunutan ako ng tinik kasi naman di nako natutuwa sa nature ng job ko. I never wanted to be a quitter. But in instances like this, I need to address my short term needs as well. Though what we do is for charity, I should be getting money also right?

Hayyy. But in the short span of time, I really learned a lot! I also had fun. The best thing: looking, speaking and behaving professional. Grabe, although feeling ko torture yung ginawa sakin ng company by acting professionally at all times, it did magically transformed me into a lady talaga! Tangina! On my first week, napigilan ko agad magmura! Imagine that????? Hahaha. And I learned how to wear closed shoes and make up. Lol. HAHAHAHA. Kumapal din mukha ko at naboost talaga self-confidence ko. :)


Of all these things that happened to me, I still managed to get something out of it. I remember the calling card I got from a client. She was recruiting me together with my two colleagues from the site in Glorietta. So the day I was officially unemployed, I contacted the woman and after some time I got a reply. The last message I got from her was at 11:11am. I know! Hahahaha. Syempre ginawan ko na naman ng meaning. And then I got goosebumps ng bongga! Nasa dyip ako nun eh pa-Alabang. Tapos kinalma ko sarili ko. Sabi ko, Lord, eto na naman ako. Hindi ko alam kung eto nga talaga yon. Paglingon ko sa likod ng dyip, may nakita akong red car. ZMJ 234 ang plate number. At yun  it was : PRU LIFE UK wriiten backwards.

HANEEEEP. Ako na ang decoder! Lol

Eh di yon. Pagkarating ko kila Mara kinwento ko lahat. Sabi nya baka daw Red means STOP. Pero wala. Matigas ulo ko. Sabi ko baka eto na destiny ko. HAHA.

At yun nga, kanina when I attended the interview I was really disappointed. Hindi ko naman kasi alam na yung Financial Planner na post eh yung gingawa ng mga nasa Insurance. I thought office-based pero yun pala Sales din! Haynako bukod pa don ang chaka ng office! Sa Cityland Tower II lang kasi. Hehe. Kaya nga ko umalis sa Appco gawa ng di ako sumasahod eto pa? Eh after three months pa daw kikita at yun eh kung may kikitain din ako. Tssss

Ang arte ko! HAHAHAHA. Pano naman ako magkakatrabaho nito eh ang choosy ko. Lol. Basta yon. Career muna! Hindi nako magpapaapekto kay Innova Boy! Sagasaan ko sya ng Chevy eh! Lol

I got the Title "message" from my previous trainer in Appco. Very inspiring kasi :) Wala lang. Bat ba? HAHA

Why on earth do I believe that destiny exists???

Yes. Ako na talaga ang loser. HAHAHAHAHAHA :|

Siguro ano lang..naniniwala lang ako na lahat ng bagay ay ayon sa kagustuhan ng Dyos. According to His plan. When it comes to love, ayyyy. Positive na positive naman talaga. Ako na GUILTY. Other than that, one thing I could share is when I joined EAGLES in college.

Before that, I remember in high school, I told myself that I will never ever join a sorority. As in. NEVER. Over my dead body. But second semester of my Freshman days, my best friend recruited me. Actually I didn't know it was it na. She just invited me with my dormmates to attend their orientation then we just agreed to come. During the orientation I was shocked to find out their activities and who the members are and what they do. Sobrang iba sa mga inakala ko. Tama. They broke the stereotypes. More on community service and what made me interested are the values of sisterhood, purity, femininity and simplicity they are living.

When the MemcomHead made her testimonial on one of their main activities, I had goosebumps. I knew then that it was destined for me. I was destined to be an Eagle. I presented right away and became a neophyte. The day after that when I head off to Students' dorm after reporting in the tambayan, a frat war broke near Catalan. Guys were running holding rocks. Kagulo sa may gate ng dorm. When I asked what was it, ayun frat war nga daw. I asked what frat and one of the dormer said:  Eagles and Molay.

EH YUN PA YUNG DAY NA NAPAIYAK AKO NG ISANG MEMBER. Sobrang iyakin ko naman kasi talaga. Pinipilit nako ng mga roommates ko na magquit kasi nga ganon. Umiyak nako plus may frat war sila. Pero sa loob loob ko lang, ayoko. Ayoko kasi maging quitter. Madami naman ako natutunan in that span of time. Masaya din naman kasi sila at feeling ko magiging masaya din ako kasama nila. Tapos...ehem. Bawal na sabihin yung iba eh. Lol. :p

Ayun, the rest is history. :)

After five years.. deja vu. Yung first and only inapplyan ko, before final interview may pinapanood saming AVP. I wasn't paying attention at all. Pero nung bandang huli na, napapanood ako. Puro achievers yung pinapakita na nagsspeech. Tapos yun. I got chills. During the final interview, the branch manager asked me why should they hire me. At walang kagatol gatol ko sinabi ang nangyari sakin before the final interview that ... I think it's destiny.


Ngayon, second week ko palang pero nahihirapan nako. Anlaki kasi ng gastos ko tapos pagod pa. Anim kami sa batch pero pabawas kami ng pabawas habang tumatagal. Iniisip ko na nga lang sumasali lang ako ng org. Napaiyak narin pala ko ng trainer ko. HAHA :)) Pero yun nga. Ayoko maging quitter. Tsaka analaki ng pinagbago ko since ma-hire ako. Sobrang blessing sakin ng APPCO. Feeling ko lahat ng taong nami-meet ko everyday, may naiiwan sakin na aral. Everyday is meaningful. I get to learn something new. Di man ako yumaman agad, priceless naman kasi yung mga natututunan. Pag iniisip ko na magqquit ako, there is always something inside me na ayaw. Mas malakas yung drive na tuloy lang kahit di ko alam hanggang san dadalhin ang pera ko pang araw-araw. I felt din na lumakas lalo yung faith ko. ^^

Hindi ko alam kung anong mangyayari pero basta. Bahala na. bahala na si Lord. :)

Of people I met and an answered question :)

I've been very busy these days that I don't have time to blog everything. Okay. Highlights.

Saturday/Sunday-- went to SM Calamba and watched What's Your Number with Jay. Yes. My favorite couzy. :)) Syempre. Libre nya! :D Mind you. He's only 3rd year College pero mas mayaman pa sya sakin! Hoho. :p Sya ang nagiging boyfriend ko. Lagi kasi kami napagkakamalan. Lol.

Uwi sa bahay then went to WalterMart Makiling. Yes! First time ko! HAHA. It's just around the corner. As in. Sumunod kami ni Jay kasi andon daw sila Ninang and other cousins. Katawa! Di namin sila nakita agad. Oh well. That means malaki pa rin ang Walter? Lol. Anyway, we found them in the Grocery Store. Ayun. Halos lahat ng taga-Makiling andon. Lol. Kainis. HAHA :))

Then forever ako nasa internet na nakatulugan ko na. Paggising ko, si Lola nasa room ko na. Shet lang. HAHAHAHA. Kay Jay namang notebook gamit ko, keri lang. HAHAHAHA

Monday--late nagising. Tamad na tamad kasi ako bumangon. Boo me! HAHA. Lunch time alis ako diretso LB. Nagpapasama pa nga ko kay Jay sa QC. Yes. Punta nako sa Katipunan kila Mara para di masyado hassle kinabukasan. And there, hanggang sa ako nalang ang lumuwas. Awa ng Dyos nakarating naman ako. Letse mga tao sa MRT and LRT ang wild! Mauubusan???? Grabehan! Anyway, nagmamadali naman talaga ko pero grabe lang. Baba sa Gateway to watch Real Steal. In fairness, naiyak ako. Lol :)))) Hellouer? Lahat naman ata iniiyakan ko??? HAHAHA. 

Pang ilang movie na namen ni Mara yun? HAHA. Magjowa? Ganun talaga ata? Pareho kasi kami ng kapalaran. Tengene! Buti sana kung mga panget kami??? Tsktsk. HAHAHAHA. So yun, pag-uwi sakto last train. Dyahe lang kasi pinilit ko sya pumunta sa luwag sa spot not knowing pang Elderly and PWD yun. WTF! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Syet. Tawa na lang kami! :))))))) Nakakahiya as in!!!! 

So we went to their Condo near Ateneo. At yon, bagsak ako! HAHAHA. Badtrip sakin si Mara kasi gawa pa sya ng AVP for her mom's bday.  :p

Tuesday--THE BIG DAY. I went to the National Sectoral Assembly of the National Anti-Poverty Commision as a documentor. Patanga-tanga ko kasi lumampas ako sa Great Eastern Hotel. Hehe. Buti nalang malapit. Lol. 7am call time at yon ako pa nga ang maaga. Hehe. Tatlo kaming housemates ang nakuha ni Ahyel, AEMS din. Hehe. So there, andaming batang nagkalat sa hotel lobby. Sobrang big event pala yun talaga kasi nationwide and per region ang representation bukod sa sectoral. Eh letse 7am, hapon lang naman pala kami kelangan. Pabor! ^^ at the same price. Hehe. Natulog lang kami sa room. 12pm, lunch. Kadiri yung hotel na yun. Nanlilimahid yung mga mantel. Basta. feeling ko sobrang dugyot non. Arrrggh. Walang wala sa Alumni Hostel. Hehe :p

FIRST PERSON I MET. So nagstart kami magdocument sa sectoral. Sa Senior Citizen kami assigned. I was excited before because I have my heart for the elderly. Feeling ko nga nasa Will Time Bigtime kami. Lol. HAHA. So yun, nasa may bandang likod kasi kami kaya medyo naadvise-an kami ng NAPC coordinator na pumunta kami sa unahan. Feeling ko nga galit sya kasi nagdadaldalan kami. Hehe. Eh di sa hiya ko, nauna nako. Pumunta ko sa may sulok at umupo. Katabi ko yung isang matandang andaming alam. Lol

Lumapit sakin si Kaye dala-dala ang mga gamit. Nadanggil nya ng onti yung matanda na katabi ko. At yun, it started everything. 

"I AM NOT A LEANING POST!!!" galit na galit si Mamita. Nagtaray na ng bongga! Eh di syempre todo sorry si Kaye pero ako diretso lang sa pag document. Kebs lang. Maya maya tinanong na ko ni Kaye kung kaninong bag yung inup-an nya. Eh hindi ko naman alam so deadma uli--back to business ako. Ayun. Maya maya pa, naghurumintado na naman yung bruha! 

"Where is my bag?" Tapos turo si Kaye sa baba. Lalong naghysterical ang lola mo! "You don't put my bag there..blah blah blah!!!" Hanggang sa lahat na ng tao nakatingin na samen. Tanginang matanda yon ah-ah!

Biglang butt in ni Dayne. "Hindi naman po ginagalaw yung bag nyo." At yon na. Word War. Lol

Andaming sinabi ng hinayupak pero ang hinding hindi mawawala sa narinig ko eh yung... 

"STUPIDA!" "YOU HAVE NO MANNERS!!!" 

Wow! Who's talking????

Eh putangina nyo po~!

Problema ni lola??? Grabe lang. May panduduro pa sya and everything. Grabe lang. Pinalabas pa nya si Dayne tapos tinawag yung NAPC Coordinator at wag na wag daw kukunin uli si Dayne next time. Tangina! Wagas! Ako eh nangangatog na sa sulok. Kahit hindi ako yung sinabihan eh tangina! Tama ba yon???? Kunsabagay, matanda na kasi. Sobra naman ang bilib nya sa sarili nya kung ganon? Grabe. Pag namatay yon tyak andami pupunta--magsasaya! Lol >:)

Sobrang magiliw ako sa matanda pero wala ko masabi sa matandang huklubang yon. Period.

SECOND PERSON I MET. Sa tindi ng tensyon, mas pinili kong ituloy ang trabaho ko. Hehe. I went in front and wrote everything that was going on. Hanggang sa di ko na namalayan ang oras at nakipag-sub na sakin si Kaye para daw makapag miryenda ako. Habang kumakain, tinabihan ako ng isang babae. Nagpapakwento kung ano ang nangyare. So ako naman, kwento. Tapos yun na. Hehe. Ambakla naman ng kausap ko. Sobrang cool. Sobrang fun! Kinuwento nya lahat lahat. Ultimo love life, sex life. Oo. HAHA. Brief nga lang pero ganon narin. :p Tsaka ko tinanong kung sino sya kasi yung mga matatanda kilala kasi sya. Nakakahiya naman diba? Hehe. She gave me her calling card and then I found out that she is a radio announcer sa DWIZ. Madami ring syang mga raket tapos kinukuha pa nya ko as documentor next time daw na may event sya.. Ansaya lang. At the end of our talk, God is still glorified. :) Kahit gano sya kapilya at ka-luka, practicing Catholic si Meng Canlas :) Grabe. So inspiring! ^^

THIRD PERSON I MET. Pagkaalis ni Ms. Meng, upo naman nitong presiding chair ng meeting ng mga matatanda. Muka syang mabait. Yung mga tipong pastor ganon. Hehe. So yun, nagkakwentuhan nalang din kami pero wag ka! ENGLISH! Hehe. I had no choice but to converse in that way also. Letche! HAHAHAHA. He asked me to rate him how efficient was he as a presiding officer. Wala pako sinasabi, nag 8 na agad si lolo. Hehe. Sabi ko nga 9 eh. He was amazed and thanked me. He told me how he was handling people. Eh walanya naman talaga kasi yung meeting! Ang wild! Andaming gusto! Andami mga sinasabe! He was able to control them. Magaling nga! :D Tapos yun, hindi ko na kinaya. I asked him if he was active in Church. I was disappointed to hear him say NO. Hehe. Muka naman kasi talaga syang pastor eh. Lol. HAHA. He was a Catholic but not practicing. Anyway, Lolo is 82 :) He even told me that he was being presumed as a lawyer. Grabe! So hindi pa sya lawyer???? Eh ano sya??? Hehe. He let me guessed what degree he took in. Wala nako maisip eh. Hehe. Tapos yun. Sinabi nyang...


HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE.

Hwe????? Eh sobrang mukang marunong si lolo! As in! @______@
I asked why is he articulate and then he told me he was fond of reading books. Technical books on how to speak English fluently, how to write, grammar and he emphasized on LOGIC. Whoa! True that. Kaya naman kasi mag self-study. Lol. Imba si lolo! Partida! Hindi pa sya nag-college nyan ha? He was proud to say he could argue with a lawyer and win! Hoho. That's my lolo! :))) Everything daw kasi is based on logic. On truth.  Tapos yun. Tinawag nako for my next duty. Hehe

AND THEN I MET THE POOREST REGION IN THE PHILIPPINES. After the sectoral break-out, the next part was the regional break-out. I was assigned to document in CARAGA or Region 13. Lucky me I am a Waray  kaya naiintindihan ko sila. Hehe. There was one part of the problem-identifying matrix where you list down priority municipalities/cities of a certain problem or issue. In this region, everything is being listed down. :( Nakakalungkot. Ayoko na sana makinig sa mga sinasabi nila kahit bisaya kasi nadudurog ang puso ko. </3

Unlike the previous grouping, this group is  few. Region 13 is only represented by less than ten people. We were in a dining table and we had dinner together. They were very friendly and they took the seminar seriously thinking of the problems and immediate solutions to those problems. Haaay. Ka-looy.


Before I forgot, HAHAHAHAHAHA. Napahiya nga pala ko. Lol. The person I was referring to the previous post texted  me that day during these activities. He said he just deactivated his account and he was just busy and saying sorry. :)))))) Tengene! Gusto ko nang lumubog! HAHAHAHAHAHA. So there, nabigyang kasagutan ang tanong ko! :"> Hihi. :))))))))

At late ko na nakita sa calling card ni Ms. Meng, sya pala ang CEO ng ABC Productions. Lol :))

Destiny is for LOSERS

I should have posted this last night but because I started the last one with my sorrows, I cut it. Who likes lengthy posts anyway?

This is an old picture of mine way back 1999 or 2000? Basta. I was in the fifth grade when I transferred to this private school in Tacloban City, Leyte from a public elementary school in Sto. Tomas, Batangas. I thought I lost it jurrasic years ago then I found this out together with my old elementary pictures in the cabinet. Why??? Why on earth should this picture appear now????

Why? Because of that boy. He was my first love. Hoho. Oh baket???  When everything was going smooth between us, I left him. It was due to my complicated family situation I had to go back to Laguna without saying goodbye to everybody. My heart is just here.

So, going back. I don't know why we didn't have any communication during those years. I waited for him. I don't know. I just thought that I still have unfinished business with him maybe that's the reason also why I didn't had any boyfriend.

Two years ago while on Facebook, his name just popped into my head. I searched for him and added him on my friend's list. In an instant. he accepted my request and chatted me. It's just so nice that he still remembered me and teased me with him saying that I left him. I also found out that he was with his five-year girlfriend. Then, after that...I met my first boyfriend and never heard from him again.

Last month, when I deactivated my Facebook while sneaking out for an important message, his name surprisingly popped out from the chatbox. He was asking for a favor to like his brother's photo in a fan page. I refused since my account was deactivated and explained why I was online that moment. He was sorry but then I took advantage of the situation and had a short catching up with him. It was fun. We exchanged numbers. We missed each other. I told him everything about him during the days that I was searching for him. I told him he was my first love. I couldn't believe he doesn't know! He even told me that maybe it was destiny that made us ran into each other again.. Hoho

Days passed and I haven't deactivated my account yet because of that important message I was waiting til I received a message from him in FB teasing me that I would deactivate my account? Grabe sya. HAHA :))) And then one day, he caught me online and again, teased me with him asking me on how to deactivate a facebook account. It was also that day when I finally received what I was waiting but he asked me to stay. I couldn't say no. Lol. Since then, we were always online. Namiss ko lang yung uumagahin ka kasi may kausap ka? And wait.. pagkagising mo sya parin. Natatakot nga ko kasi baka wala na kami mapagusapan but no! Forever na kami online! Landi ko! HAHAHAHAHA :"> Imagine? Eleven years of no communication and yet we were still have this connection? Setting aside his now seven-years girlfriend of course! :p He forever talked about how I left him and that would be my biggest regret in my entire life. That I should be the one he is taking care of now and being loved...

Until the third day, he told him about my--our feelings. That I should be careful because he doesn't want to hurt me. Like? WTF. Don't spoil my happiness. I wasn't even there yet. I'm happy. That's it! And then he confessed that he loves me more than a friend but less than a lover. And he chose his girlfriend and he loves her more. ARRRGGHHHH. I said I don't want to hear about that! Of course I knew it. He asked me what about us? What were we then? I said, no labels. I want to keep what we have. I lost him before, I don't want to lose him ever again. And there, feelings "were" mutual. He advised me not to text him. I didn't ask why. I don't want to hear that it's because of his gf. But when I got disconnected during our chat, that afternoon I received a long message from him so worried. I replied once because he was the first one to text. I still respect what he wanted so I didn't bother to lengthen the conversation.

We were sweet for a week. Straight. We also had a pact that we would be meeting each other. This month. Yes. Within the end of October. He became busy with his work contract that our chats were shortened. There, I sent text messages of smiley to him. No words because I still respect his favor. I was shocked to receive a message coming from him saying that he doesn't want receiving texts from me and then he just didn't make himself online just like that. He was the only person after my ex who cared about me. He let me take breakfasts and made me more conscious about my health. He was the only person to stop me from saying bad words and all other profanity. He is my first love and I thought he could be more than that...

Tapos makikita ko yung litratong to???? Seriously????? I searched for him in Facebook again and guess what I found? He blocked me. I'm sure he did that. I know he wouldn't deactivate his account. Sa inis ko, tinext ko sya. One last.

Blair Waldorf is right. Destiny is only for losers.

If someone is dumb enough to walk away, be smart enough to let them go. Your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you.

+

So this has been a very busy week for me. I spent three days and three nights (Oct.11-14) at the Alumni Center alone. Then timely, the rape slay case of a Comsci student broke out giving me chills and feared me to death. I should be out 10pm on the night of the 13th but I delayed it due to this unfortunate event. I am brave I know. But this really scare me bigtime! Grabe umay ko sa Alumni~ Tanginaaaaaa!!!!

I know I should have posted this those days that I had nothing to do but I don't know. I was just scared and bored that I just waited for the time to tick at 6am that third day. My third night was a nightmare! I mean, I couldn't sleep at all that I was even afraid to sleep. I had a knife beside me in case of any emergency. Then everything ended. I just prayed that everything would be fine and that the sun would rise fast.

It all happened when the night that news broke out, when her identity finally revealed, I searched for her in Facebook and messages of condolences appeared before me. I don't personally know her but... goosebumps! I was moved and really sorry for her loss. I almost cried! Thank God her case has finally been resolved. The suspects were already found and soon justice will serve Given Grace. Such a nice name...

I am really praying for the eternal repose of her soul...

:'|

Not Like The Movies by Katy Perry

Last na 'toh. Pramis!

I'm not yet over him. Sobrang sakit lang kasi for the nth time, ni-reject na naman nya ko. I just want to be cool with him. That's all. Tapos ayaw pa nya? Kesyo busy daw sya at maraming ginagawa at yung nagpadurog na naman sakin eh-- wala naman daw kasing dahilan para mag usap pa kami ng personal. Tangina lang!

Nakakatawa lang kasi it's been seven months already but the pain is still the same. I may not cry that much often but what I am feeling now is just like the first day he left me. He's been part of my successes and he was the reason of my failures (Oo. Sinisisi ko sya!!! Lol). Masyado lang kasi ata ako nasanay na nandyan sya. He was my strength and my weakness. Akala ng iba ina-under ko sya, but he was really the one who took control. 

Umiiyak ako ngayon. HAHAHAHAHHAHA. Punyeta! Ansama nya kasi. Bakit sobrang mean nya saken? Ganon nalang yon? Biglang wala na syang pakialam sakin eh dati rati wala syang ibang inisip kundi ang kapakanan ko. Mahal na mahal ko kasi sya. Sobra. Akala ko sya din.

Alam ko masama ugali ko pero nung naging kami, sobrang laki ng pinagbago ko. Mainipin ako at iritable pero nung naging kami, nagawa kong hintayin sya ng matagal pag may usapan kami. Sobrang humaba talaga ang pasensya ko. Nagagalit ako pero konting lambing lang nya, wala na. Andami kong efforts nun na hindi ko inexpect na magagawa ko dahil lang sakanya. Kahit nga ngayon diba? Magagalit ako ng onti tapos yun, mahal ko pa rin sya. Okay na uli. Kayang-kaya ko syang intindihin. Grabe! Ano pa bang kulang? Ano pa bang dapat kong gawin? Ano bang ginawa ko? 

Ayoko na kasi. Gusto ko pag mamahal ako, isa lang. Ayoko na kasi ng heartaches. Ayoko na namang mag adjust. Masyadong malaking investment ang magmahal uli. At least kung magbabalikan kami, konting adjustment nalang. Sabi sa Finance, the higher the risk, the higher the returns. Eh tangina! Anyare???? Oo. Alam ko marami pang lalake sa mundo. Eh tarages! Halos lahat ng lalaki ngayon puta! Iisa na sila! Pare-pareho. Pang good time lang ang gusto! Wala ng mapagkakatiwalaan ngayon. Kaya ako sobrang nalulungkot kasi ang akala kong sya na, iniwan pa ko. Simple na nga lang gusto ko eh. Di na nga ko naghahanap ng gwapo at macho. Basta matalino, responsable at mabango pwede na. Lol. 

Ang labo lang. Sobrang nalulungkot lang talaga ko. Para sakin kasi gusto ko sya na. Sya nalang kasi. Bakit ba ayaw nya? Yan  talaga yung palaisipan sakin. Hindi ko talaga alam kung ano yung dahilan. 

Lord, please heal my broken heart. Sobrang dami na po ng pinagdaanan nya. Sana po matapos na. I chose to make a decision that is irrevocable. Hope it could really help me. Kasi ayoko na. Pramis talaga! Unfair naman yun, sya masaya samantalang ako, naghihintay pa. 

Pabili nga po ng pahinga!!!

Sobrang pagod na pagod nako. Naiiyak nako sa sobrang pagoooooooood!!!!

T____________T

Putanginaaaaa! Bat ba bida bidahan ako sa pagsali sa fun run???? Tapos umo-o pa ko sa pagsama sa Prelude to Loyalty Day sa Batangas??? Yan tuloy! Arrrgghhhh. At eto pa! Get to gether pa naming mga blocmates sa gabi! IC's tapos 5am na kami umuwi kanina. Oo. Wala ko nararamdaman non. Ansaya saya pa nga namen. Mulat mulatan pa nga ko eh! Pero ngayon???? Putangina to the nth level!!! Sobrang ayoko na kumilos. Gusto ko lang mag lie down. Nakasama pa sa Awarding eh yan tuloy hanggang forever pa ko dito sa Alumni Center! Tapos magbabawi pako sa 11-12. Tarages! Ayoko na talaga! Kung pwede lang umuwi ng c9 ngayon, gagawin ko! Huhuhu. :'(((((

Masaya yung fun run actually. Andaming pagkain. Andaming kasali. Masaya din yung prelude. Andaming alumni na katandaan. Andaming freebies. Andaming yabangan. Nakakatuwa lang kasi yung mga thunders, iba yung alumni spirit nila. Sobrang loyalty talaga sa Loyalty Day.Masaya din kaming blocmates. Lima lang kami forever pero dabest kami. Ibang level ang humor at fun namen pag magkakasama. Kaya pa kami abutin ng alas singko sa kalsada diba? Hehe

Eh ayoko na ngayon. Sobrang damang dama ko yung pagod. After ng bdayan kila Mam Mimi, yung director ng OAR, diretso sa Alumni Center para magintay ng oras para dumiretso sa Copeland. Nag-assist ako sa Registration uli. Charity na naman. Kundi ko lang kasama si Mommy Kelly at Phoebe eh. Umay na nga ko sa pakain kasi forever na yun yung caterer. Yung kinainan namen ng lunch sila din kasi sa Awarding--Chelsea's.

Basta pagod nako. Pagod na pagod nako. Bat ba kasi ako ang naka duty. Andami ko pa aasikasuhin. Pagkatapos talaga nito, didiretso ako sa Vlounge para sa isang massage treat! Tangina lang sa pagod talaga! Nakakaiyak naaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! T_____________T

Pagod ako. Pagod. Period.

Next chapter...

So, this is it! I will face the world on my own. How am I going to get a job? I mean, a career! I want a decent job puhleeeease?

I was trying to search for jobs online awhile ago but ended up with nothing. Lol. Duh??? CSRs??? Over my dead body. I want to be in an agribusiness industry but there are no vacancies in all companies that I am eyeing.  :( As much as possible I want to practice my profession. I didn't graduate for nothing. (BAYABAS! HAHAHA)

One more thing, my dilemma is where to work. I am thinking of working in Manila but my heart says stay at home. I really am torn. Plus the high cost of living, stress, traffic and all other factors in the city. I am scared actually. I don't know what awaits me there. Dito pa nga lang andami ng dimonyo? Don pa kaya???

Haaaay. I don't know what to do! Tinatamad pa din naman ako. Lol

Anyway, We'll participate tomorrow in the 1st KapaligiRun organized by the UPLBAA. Sakto. Alumna nako. First activity. Hehe. 5Km. For real??? Eh I have something at 10am. Hope I could finish the fun run by 9am so I could change clothes and refresh.

October. My favorite month of the year except holidays of course. It is where all the hard times and good are jam packed.Yung tipong ramdam na ramdam mo na estudyante ka kasi ginagapang mo na mga subjects mo--oh wait, PLANKING pala! HAHA. :)))) Kabilaan exams. Uso kape at lahat na ng energy drink. May contest ng palakihan ng eye bags. During my undergrad years (Yown! Sa wakas! Nagamit na kita! HAHA), I don't know but taking final exams was I guess my hobby. Lol. HAHAHAHA. Proves that I am really a masochist. I enjoy the anguish of mental excruciation. That feeling when you almost give up and cry all your worries out then you'll pass every exam..The fuck! HAHAHAHAHA. 

Yun lang. Not all. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA :|

Eto malupit, nauuna pa mga sem-enders and lahat ng gimmicks before the HELL WEEK.

So before the Hell week is the Heaven or should I say.. Sinners' week. Hoho. Alcohol, fun, not thinking even a bit of acads. Heaven nga diba? Lol

Back to 2007, it was the highlight of my college. That semester I was honored as the first official student scholar by the UP EAGLES Alumni Association scholarship project. Yes. I have good grades then. Until the brods and sisses had this orghouse. We were bonded as in. We drank almost every night. That sem also, I fell in love with one of my brods. My first heart ache. I was staying in Students' Dorm that time but I almost lived in our orghouse. Epic. I drink just to be with him. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. K.

To make the story short, napabayaan ko acads ko dahil sa paglandi. Lol. Idagdag mo pa yung bigla na lang nya hindi pagpansin sakin eh halos MU na kami ganon. So there, I flunked 2 subjects. Math14, MGT111 and I got a conditional grade in Chem15.

Sorry na ha? Weakness ko kasi talaga ang Math. Kahit ano basta may numero. I just couldn't believe what happened in my accounting! Maybe I was really out of focus that sem that I disregarded my studies. Yun. Before the finals of MGT111, AEMS had its sem-ender in Laiya. I was hesitant to go because I already knew what would happen if I come. I also don't have money with me then, but Kuya Ian, the president that time  insisted and promised me that he would shoulder everything basta sumama lang ako. What an offer! So I joined. Also, I said to myself that I already have so much worries and misery. If I fail, at least I was able to enjoy their company and be happy. :)

Three days and two nights in Laiya. FUN! :) And when I took the exam that Monday... Son of a gun! :|

First week of November I returned to elbi to find out my grades.. Uh huh. Probationary.

I knew already but I just couldn't accept it. Idagdag mo pa ang sakit ng puso ko. Acads and lovelife? Not really a good combo. So there, Double-Whammy! Cutting my hair was my outlet. Promise. Ampanget ko talaga after non! If I have regrets in life..Yun na talaga yon! Tengene!!!

Okay. Back to 2009. 

Eto naman.. HAHAHAHAHA. The budding romance with my first boyfriend. Actually, he was my crush since summer pa. Nadevelop ata ako nung lagi akong napunta sa h4 eh dun sila nakatira. We always argue kaya siguro. Hehe. Then I found out July he was courting his batchmate (CY. Lol) eh he told me summer he wouldn't court any girl. /// 

I tried to win him from that girl. :p But I gave up when we had a huge fight CEMplangan time. Petty fight lang yun actually. But I realized that I've had enough. Come sem-ender, Laiya. Part two. :) Di ko na sya pinapansin nun. And tadaaaaah! It worked. He was like a dog chasing his master! :p Effective ang pag bibikini ko. Loljk. :))))))) But no. I shrugged him off.

Since our apartments that time were in the same building (Clemente), we were able to see each other. And since her sister is one of my closest friends I was able to go to their unit and ask for acad matters. (Baba kami, taas sila). I was civil talking to him. I also remembered that the day after that he will return to his hometown for sembreak. So after my business with his sister I went outside to go to my unit. He ran after me and we stayed in the veranda. I could sense that he wanted to say something or I don't know but I didn't mind. His housemate saw us together and started teasing us. I just went straight to our unit because I have one  final exam left.

In our room while reviewing for AENG2, someone knocked at the door. It was him. I smiled. I didn't expect him to be there that time because it was late already. I don't know. All I did was invited him to sit beside me while I am busy reviewing for my exam. My housemate was already sleeping facing the other wall while we were close together leaning the other. And after that night, we were already together. Bow. :)))))

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. Wala lang. Ang sarap magreminisce. Ipinasa ko yung exam na yon, mataas pa! Ibang level ang landi na yun eh, nakakataas ng grade!Lol.  After that, wala nako binagsak na exam uli. Gumanda performance ko sa acads. Until yun...that happened.

This year, AEMS will be in Laiya again. I wonder what's gonna happen. That beach is really special to me. It has a lot of good memories. I am really looking forward to another memories worth-remembering. :)

We'll be there on 22-23. It should be our two years together.///

7th Heaven ♥

October 5, 2011

You soooo EPIC! ♥




This was a really loooooooooong day for me!!!




Okay. Of course I was drinking (Alcoholic??? Napadalas ah??? HAHAHA) when I welcomed this day. As I was saying from my previous post, that incident happened. I will no longer elaborate. Period.




So I woke up at 6am then straight to Alumni Center. I've never seen this building full of people before, full of life! The Alumni Center now is super abounding, all prepared for the upcoming Loyalty Day. A symposium on "ALUMNI COPING BEST WITH LIFE AFTER RETIREMENT THROUGH VOLUNTEERISM" at 3pm was held so preparations and others things were all set. What made me excited was the catering service! Lol (PG pala! HAHA)


After my shift at 2pm, I still stayed to voluntarily help the OAR in the said event. I tasked myself in the registration. Ma'am Mimi, the director, was delighted of my simple deed. I really wanted to be productive that day. Until I received a message from my classmate in Econ102. The message says that the class standing was already released.


Gulp.


I just couldn't breathe that moment. My hands were shaky. My sweat was cold. That night before, I analyzed that I was already "graduate" calculating my previous exams and other requirements such as quizzes and exercises. I knew that I already am but because of my third exam, I really don't know. I was not confident enough to say that "I AM ALREADY GRADUATE".


Pssshhh. That third exam. Bat kasi lumandi ako? Lol. I was texting somebody the night before the exam. Of course, same old drama..I underestimated the exam. Akala ko yung usual lang. Kasi take two ko na naman blah blah blah.. Paksyet! Arrgggghhhhh.


I was really down after that exam. Swerte na kasi pag naka singkwenta ko don! Kwarenta lang ata pwede ko itama.Binilang ko na. Eh Putanginaaaaaaaa! The first two pages were like coming from an Exercise!!! Puro Fill in the blanks???? Hello???? Ano to?????


So there I went to c9 still depressed. I was thinking of getting the removal exam agonizing every pages of the syllabus and contemplating each theory and concepts. Then, *TING!!!*


MAY FINALS PA!!! :))))))))


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


Grabe saya ko nun! HAHAHAHA. 


And there I was, in my little nook in the Alumni Center waiting for the result of what's gonna happen....


Nobody replied. I texted everybody but I think all them were busy. Jo, my sis in AEMS luckily was there in CEM so I asked her a favor to look for my student number in the list. And she said..


I already passed 102!!!!!!!! :D


Of course I was happy! I was the happiest yesterday! My classmate also confirmed that I passed and exempted from finals.  It was a miracle indeed! She said I got 66% in the third exam! Like WTF! Pano nangyare yoooooon????? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


Even without seeing the result with my very own eyes, due to my excitement I already posted about it in Facebook and Twitter! HAHAHAHA. Then I got scared. What if false alarm? Lol. But still I was already in cloud nine and I told everybody in the Alumni Center about it. Grabe talaga yung saya ko non! SOLID! :))))))


WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! :D


Mommy Kelly (Admin Officer in OAR) texted my teacher, Mam Catelo (her sister-in-law. Lol) that I was really happy of becoming a full-pledged alumna. She replied. She said that the other day when she dropped by the Alumni Center, she already knew the result. She just wanted me to see it so I'll be surprised! She also said that she was very happy for me.


Mam Catelo. She's my teacher for almost a year and a half. Lol. I took Econ102 (first take) last year first semester. I had a grade of 4 but unfortunately there was no removals offered that sem. I don't know WTF was that policy but I wasn't able to make an appeal. My bad. I was already graduating the following sem, Iost in mind. I was too obedient.


So second semester came with 12 units left. Majors plus SP, that was the most smooth-sailing sem for me regardless of how busy and demanding those subjects were. I think i just enjoyed my major. No math and other letcheng sciences. Lol. It was also the highest GWA I got in my entire college partida bagsak pa sa removals. Hell yeah. Nakalimutan ko na may 102 pako putangina! Yes. Underestimating examshit. I thought ma'am would give the old exams. But no! ARRRRGGHHH. Tengene! Alam mo yung feeling na may gradpic ka na sa bahay? Lahat sila excited tapos alam na ng lahat na graduating ka tapos ganon? Ganon ganon nalang?????


T______________________________________________T


I pleaded. Yes. To Mam Catelo. Part two. But she was strict. That time, she was the newly Department Chair of the Dept. of Economics. Haneeep diba? Timing!!!! She said that it was not the first time to happen blah blah blah.. I tried not to cry meeting her because I don't want to be rejected again just what she has done to me last semester. But then at one point, her stoned heart melted. She agreed to give me one last chance if I could gather all other students who failed not later than 5pm that afternoon. So I thank her and rushed to the CEM College Sec's Office.


The whole staff helped me. They are the best university employees! Kuya Alvin, Tita Tess and Tita Neneth! I love them all. My college wouldn't be complete without them as they became my second family in CEM. So that day, they helped me find those people. And just before 3pm, I contacted all of them. :) By 4:30, we were already in Mam Catelo's office.


We were told to take the exam the following day because of me as graduating but we were warned that the exam would be more difficult. So there, I was happy. That week was burdensome for me just that I thought it was the most chilled sem for me..too early to say pala. Yan tuloy! Tanginaka! Forever ako umiiyak, nahimasmasan lang nung araw na yun.


Grabe! Yun lang pinroblema ko! 102??? SP nga di ko iniiyakan? Partida wala pang kwenta adviser ko! Nyeta!!!!


That night, relaxed nako. Medyo tanggap ko na din kung ano mangyayari. Maybe I cried too much that I want to rest for awhile. It was very heartbreaking. All hopes were crushed. And..I never really expected it. NEVER. I studied all the problem solvings and focused on graphs and such..


So the day of the removal of the removal exam came. Lol. When I saw the exam paper.. 


BULAGA!!!


102 items. True or False. LAHAT. 


PUNYETA LAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGGGGGG!!!!


HAHAHAHAHA. Bahala na. :|


So the following day, exam result. Got the exam paper. FAILED. There was a note beside the score. Sorry.


Ang nakakainis, mas mataas pa score ko nung una! Letcheness!


I went to AEMS Tamb and sat there. People coming were already graduating and I said I won't be able to march with them. I was calm and relaxed. Medyo natanggap ko na rin siguro sa haba ng iniyak ko nung week na yun. 


Then I remembered my lola. I called my Ninang Julie (my aunt) and there! I bursted into tears! I cried hard and told her I couldn't make it. I was expecting her to be mad at me but when she said that she will explain everything to my lola, I cried even harder! It was the first time she didn't nag at me. My heart was pulverized. Worse than any heartbreaking mishap in my entire life! I told her  I have no more guts to come home but she insisted. I lost so much confidence and trust in myself. But my family never give up on me. I agreed to come home because they already fetched me in my old apartment. My father was with my cousin, Jay. I barely talk with him. I don't actually consider him as part of what I call family now for some old and many reasons that I don't want to discuss anymore.


Actually this was not the beginning of the so called depression. It happened early in March.You know what happened. Then, I realized how strong I was. Suicide never popped in my head! It was never an option. I realized that these problems were not enough reasons to cut my life. It wasn't that hard enough to waste my life. Kaya ko pa pala! :)


But still at home, I didn't eat. I couldn't. I just stayed in my room. It wasn't the end of my sem yet because I had to finish my SP with its hardbound and other requirements. During signing of my leaflet, I talked to my adviser who so happened to be the director of the Business Affairs Office. I told him everything and begged him to give me any job he could offer to me because I really need it in order to get back my lost soul. Timely, the Alumni Hostel was in need of Guest Relations Attendants. He asked me to send CV and letter of intent. After that, two weeks at home, My cousins tried to cheer me up. I love them very much. Then  I continued my life. After that, I started working. And the rest is history. :)


I met different people who really inspire me and changed the way I look in life. I learned a lot of new things. It proved me again that everything happens for a reason and that good things come to those who really wait. That there are no failures, only delayed success. I realized that one must not wish for what just he wants but wish for what God wants for him. God truly cares. ♥


Glory to You Oh Lord! :)


Oh wait.. This day also was the 7th month of breaking up with me. Honeeeep. Maisingit lang! HAHAHAHA