Destiny is for LOSERS

I should have posted this last night but because I started the last one with my sorrows, I cut it. Who likes lengthy posts anyway?

This is an old picture of mine way back 1999 or 2000? Basta. I was in the fifth grade when I transferred to this private school in Tacloban City, Leyte from a public elementary school in Sto. Tomas, Batangas. I thought I lost it jurrasic years ago then I found this out together with my old elementary pictures in the cabinet. Why??? Why on earth should this picture appear now????

Why? Because of that boy. He was my first love. Hoho. Oh baket???  When everything was going smooth between us, I left him. It was due to my complicated family situation I had to go back to Laguna without saying goodbye to everybody. My heart is just here.

So, going back. I don't know why we didn't have any communication during those years. I waited for him. I don't know. I just thought that I still have unfinished business with him maybe that's the reason also why I didn't had any boyfriend.

Two years ago while on Facebook, his name just popped into my head. I searched for him and added him on my friend's list. In an instant. he accepted my request and chatted me. It's just so nice that he still remembered me and teased me with him saying that I left him. I also found out that he was with his five-year girlfriend. Then, after that...I met my first boyfriend and never heard from him again.

Last month, when I deactivated my Facebook while sneaking out for an important message, his name surprisingly popped out from the chatbox. He was asking for a favor to like his brother's photo in a fan page. I refused since my account was deactivated and explained why I was online that moment. He was sorry but then I took advantage of the situation and had a short catching up with him. It was fun. We exchanged numbers. We missed each other. I told him everything about him during the days that I was searching for him. I told him he was my first love. I couldn't believe he doesn't know! He even told me that maybe it was destiny that made us ran into each other again.. Hoho

Days passed and I haven't deactivated my account yet because of that important message I was waiting til I received a message from him in FB teasing me that I would deactivate my account? Grabe sya. HAHA :))) And then one day, he caught me online and again, teased me with him asking me on how to deactivate a facebook account. It was also that day when I finally received what I was waiting but he asked me to stay. I couldn't say no. Lol. Since then, we were always online. Namiss ko lang yung uumagahin ka kasi may kausap ka? And wait.. pagkagising mo sya parin. Natatakot nga ko kasi baka wala na kami mapagusapan but no! Forever na kami online! Landi ko! HAHAHAHAHA :"> Imagine? Eleven years of no communication and yet we were still have this connection? Setting aside his now seven-years girlfriend of course! :p He forever talked about how I left him and that would be my biggest regret in my entire life. That I should be the one he is taking care of now and being loved...

Until the third day, he told him about my--our feelings. That I should be careful because he doesn't want to hurt me. Like? WTF. Don't spoil my happiness. I wasn't even there yet. I'm happy. That's it! And then he confessed that he loves me more than a friend but less than a lover. And he chose his girlfriend and he loves her more. ARRRGGHHHH. I said I don't want to hear about that! Of course I knew it. He asked me what about us? What were we then? I said, no labels. I want to keep what we have. I lost him before, I don't want to lose him ever again. And there, feelings "were" mutual. He advised me not to text him. I didn't ask why. I don't want to hear that it's because of his gf. But when I got disconnected during our chat, that afternoon I received a long message from him so worried. I replied once because he was the first one to text. I still respect what he wanted so I didn't bother to lengthen the conversation.

We were sweet for a week. Straight. We also had a pact that we would be meeting each other. This month. Yes. Within the end of October. He became busy with his work contract that our chats were shortened. There, I sent text messages of smiley to him. No words because I still respect his favor. I was shocked to receive a message coming from him saying that he doesn't want receiving texts from me and then he just didn't make himself online just like that. He was the only person after my ex who cared about me. He let me take breakfasts and made me more conscious about my health. He was the only person to stop me from saying bad words and all other profanity. He is my first love and I thought he could be more than that...

Tapos makikita ko yung litratong to???? Seriously????? I searched for him in Facebook again and guess what I found? He blocked me. I'm sure he did that. I know he wouldn't deactivate his account. Sa inis ko, tinext ko sya. One last.

Blair Waldorf is right. Destiny is only for losers.

If someone is dumb enough to walk away, be smart enough to let them go. Your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you.