I told you. You'll regret this.

It's been awhile. And yet I still miss you. Not that much. Just enough.

Why is it hard to forget you? How can I forget you if there are lots of things that keep me reminding of you. Your scent that I cannot erase from my memory. I remember one time I was walking from Calamba Terminal and then I just sniffed this your scent, I slowed down even though I know that it's impossible to be you I will find. Also the bouquet of wilted rose I have in my room. My aunt told me to put it away in trash I just don't know what's holding me back.

That bouquet. You gave that to me as a Valentine gift year 2010. I told you I wanted to be serenaded by my brods and get a bouquet. I didn't expect you would materialize it. Because it's not your personality to be sweet and thoughtful. And then I was surprised by them in my Stat1 Lecture class. I was the only girl to get serenaded and be given such treat with my handsome brods of course! I was so shy! I wasn't able to concentrate on the pop quiz and the whole lecture after that! You picked me up after the class and I told you how expensive the bouquet was. It was one and a half dozen of red roses! I just thought that you could have used the money for other things or just bought a dozen instead. And yes, we had fight over this. Hehe. You thought that I didn't appreciate what you've done. My point was it wasn't your effort at all. You just paid the roses and the services but it wasn't you who made it possible. I just wish you could surprise me by some other things you did your own. But you never understood.

How can I forget you if when I'm touching myself all I could imagine is you? Are you thinking of somebody else? Or you are too busy with your guitars and laptop? Or I should stop this and be holy again. I should have stopped long ago but it's too painful for me. I still care. I can't fool myself.

Someday, when you realize how important am I to you, that you still love me and want me back. you'll come back to me and do everything to make our relationship work again. I swear, NO MORE! Even though I still love you and I still care, one thing is for sure.. I don't like you anymore.