Utot ng Utak Bilang Sawi Ako.

Namimiss na kita. Pero yung miss na tolerable. Hindi na kaya ng dati na nagffreak out nako para lang makita ka. Nakakatawa nalang tuloy. Pero gusto kitang makita. Gusto kita makausap. Gusto ko makakwentuhan kita. Yung mahaba. Yung parang dati. Kahit mag-aaway tayo, pero ang totoo hindi naman talaga. Gusto kitang makatabi. Gusto kitang mayakap. Gusto kita maamoy. Yung kili-kili mo na nakaka adik. Kahit sobrang payat mo, pag niyakap mo ko pakiramdam ko safe ako. Walang makakapanakit sakin. Wala kong dapat intindihin o alalahanin. Kelan nga ba tayo huling ganito? Hindi ko na maalala. Hindi ko na matandaan. Kapag nga iniisip ko paano tayo nag-aaway dati at pano tayo nagbabati, walang tumatak sa isip ko. Pakiramdam ko sobrang bilis ng mga pangyayari saten. Parang ang iksi ng isang taon at apat na bwan. Namimiss ko na ang boses mo lalo pag tatawagan mo ko. Dati rati halos araw-araw mo kong tinatawagan. Lumalaki ang bill mo nang dahil sakin pero wala akong narinig sayo. Nag-Globe ka pa nga para lang matext kita kahit yung Smart mo parin naman ang pinangrereply mo. Lahat ng gusto ko sinunod mo. Kahit sobrang moody ko. Namimiss ko na ang mag-jam tayo. Kahit na paulit-ulit lang ang tinutugtog mo. Kahit na hindi mo tinatapos ang mga kanta kasi hindi mo saulo. Namimiss ko yung kinakanta mo sakin pag matutulog nako. Yung Pangasinense na kanta. Kahit wala ka sa tono, ansarap parin sa tenga. Namimiss ko yung lambingan. Kahit na alam ko na sa totoong buhay pag may narinig ako ng ganon din ang ginagawa eh mabubwisit ako. Namimiss ko yung paghalik mo sakin sa noo at paghawak mo sa pisngi ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero kinikilig ako pag ginagawa mo yun. Namimiss ko yung pag hahawakan mo ang kamay ko habang naglalakad tapos aalisin ko kasi nagiinarte ako. Hahawakan mo kasi ako sa bewang na mas gusto ko na ginagawa mo. Namimiss ko yung pagdaan sa may basang part papuntang Clemente. Bababahin mo kasi ako para lang di ako mabasa ng tubig kanal.Namimiss ko yung pagkain naten kung san san kahit mahal mapasaya mo lang ako. Namimiss ko yung pagsasabi ko sayo ng kahit na ano. Andyan ka lang para makinig at iyakan. Andyan ka para patawanin ako. Hindi ko nga alam e. Hindi ka naman nakakatawa kung tutuusin pero kaya kong makasama ka buong maghapon sa usapan lang. Namimiss ko yung ganun. Namimiss ko yung dating ikaw at ako. Pero alam ko pag sinabi ko to sayo, pag hinanap na naman kita, magagalit ka. Ibang-iba ka na. Hindi na ata talaga kita kilala...

That awkward moment when you see your ex and you are wearing "Looking for Mr.Right" statement shirt in your reddest bitchy lipstick

And it doesn't feel right. I was with Mamuds awhile ago in SM Calamba. We were in The Old Spaghetti House. The desserts were just served when I heard a familiar sound. I was just suspicious. I knew it was them. And to check it, POSITIVE! HARMONYA was playing in the activity area. I rushed to see if Frog..I mean Froi was there. And POSITIVE. He was in the middle.

Since then, my heart beat faster. I was shaky. My whole body was! Weird but it was just it. We rushed to finish eating to still watch them play. Haha. We were on the side at first. But when the people were moving, Mamuds just pushed me at the center. Yes! Just in front of him! >:)))

IKR? Bitchy me. HAHAHAHA. Tignan ko lang kung makatugtog ka ng ayos! >:p

And he glanced at me once in a while. Tibaaaaay! Kung ako yun walk out nako. Di nako makakakalabit ng kwerdas! LETCHE!!!

Then all of a sudden I heard someone shouting.. "FROIIIIIII....."

I looked at back and surprised to see my batchmates in Soro! HAHAHAHAHAHHA. FML!!!
I chose the date with Mamuds since she invited me earlier. My batchmates watched a movie and they bullied me when they saw me at that spot!

Wala na naman ako nasabe! Ako na barado! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Hindi ko naman talaga pinlano ang lahat!!!! Tanginalang eh!

And then their performance ended with me still defending myself to my batchmates. Mamuds told me he was looking for me after the performance. Ewan ko kung totoo!

But when we were about to leave, I waved at him and said goodbye. He waved back. I was happy.

Up to this moment I am still nervous. Just weird. Damn!

Christmas Wishlist 2011

Okay this will be in random order. I'll just put whatever pops in my head.

• The result of my application.

                    I just really need it too bad whatever it is. If No, okay. I'll move on. If Yes, happy me to start 2012!

• Revlon Red Lipstick

                    Mamuds (Che-che) promised me this. And she will get it for me..TODAY! Yay! :D

• Sennheiser Earphones or Philipps In-Ear Headset

                     I really want!!!! For my iPod Nano5! Gaaaaaaah! @_@

• iPhone4 or BB phone

                      I'm actually contented with my Nokia phone but if you insist, Thank you! I am a very good receiver! ^__^

• Capdase Watch Strap

                       White will do! Or blue, black or yellow! Or all of them! ^___^

• UP Jacket

                         I never had one. Please give me! Lol

• Katy Perry Concert Ticket

                         I just looooove this girl! And I really want to watch her concert next year in MOA Concert Grounds! @_@

• Clinique Happy Perfume
• MAC Make Up
• Super duper soft cuddly pillow (Yung malaki!)
• Running Shoes Size 8

There. I can't think of anything else. I'm just being realistic. Lol. What Mamuds took so long? Ugggh. We should be leaving nao! :| Kthnxbye.

Things To Do Before I Graduate: The Things I Missed in my Checklist

It's been two months already since I graduated from my beloved university. But then I realized I have so much in my "Things To Do Before I Graduate" list. Haaay. Five years and one semester. Ano bang pinaggagagawa ko nun? Lol. Such a waste! Tsktsk. Pero alam ko nag-enjoy naman ako, kulang parin pala? Hehe. Anyways, I forgot my checklist but just to freshen up everything, I will name things I wish to do instead. In no particular order. :)

• Go soul-searching in St. Marc Chapel or Pook Bathala

                   This place is famous but I never get to go here, ever! It's called the church with no walls. I really don't know that's why I want to experience it myself. Lol. This place was the wedding location of one of Regine Velasquez's movie in the 90's.

• Go biking around the campus.

                    So simple and yet I didn't have the chance to do this in my entire stay in Elbi. Tsk. Hmmm.. One of these days. Mura lang naman rental ng bike siguro noh?

• Climbing/Trekking Mt. Makiling

                    Hanggang Flat rocks lang ako eh, nung nag Team Building kami sa Soro..hmmm 2007? Sobrang pagod na pagod nga ko eh. Pero ngayon, promise! I will endure all the pain and everything just to fulfill one of my wishes!

• Watch the UAAP Cheerdance Competition

                     Isa pa 'to! Frustration ko talaga makanood ng Live! Nasasakto kasi na CEMplangan Talents' Night. Hmmm...

• Get the title of the CEMplangan Dance Competition

                       I should not include this in my list anymore pero frustration ko din to. Last time, second place lang kasi kami. And yes, by 0.6 points! :/

• Play basketball/volleyball

                         Since usapang CEMplangan naman to, ayan. Frustration ko kasi maging MVP. HAHAHAHAHA. Seriously. But I never had a chance to play and train. Ewan ko. Maarte kasi ako e. :p Alam naman din nila na frustration ko yun kaya lang ewan. Di nalang nangyari.  Hehe

• Be a part of a Chorale Ensemble

                           Usapang frustrations ba? Ayan. Pangarap ko talagang mag-chorale eh. Ever since freshman ako, balak ko talagang sumali. Himig UPLB pa yung naririnig ko nun. Eh since "bawal" daw sumali ang freshman, stay put lang ako. Tapos hanggang sa narecruit nako sa Eagles tapos sa Aems... hanggang sa wala nakong chance. This is my biggest frustration ever! At sobrang nakakastress kasi passion ko talaga ang kumanta. Haaaaaay . May mga bagay siguro talaga na hindi talaga para sakin... :'(

• Go skinny-dipping in Baker Hall's swimming pool

                             Wala lang. Trip trip lang. Hehe. Syempre yung hindi ako mahuhuli! :)))



Marami pa kong gusto ilagay eh like make out under the fertility tree, chos! HAHAHAHAHA. Wala nako maisip. Or yung mga naisip ko, di naman na attainable. Gusto ko pa nga sana ilagay yung mga checked na sa list ko kaya lang... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. AYOKO NGA! :P :))))))))))))))

Top Ten Reasons Why Men Shouldn't Have Me as Their Girlfriend

#10.  I am not lady-like. I kick ass. Seriously. Lol
         Malakas ako manuntok. At hindi basta basta suntok, yun tipong mapapamura ka talaga at mababadtrip ka dahil babae ang nakagawa non sayo. Hehe. Sige, try mo gumanti! B-A-D-I-N-G! :)))) Ganyan lang talaga ko maglambing. :"> Nanununtok nga pala ako ng wala wala lang. Hehe

#9. No month-saries, week-saries or day-saries chuvaness.
         Like duhhh??? Not even existing in the English dictionary! Yes. Heard it right. Ayoko ng mga kadiring celebrations every month or every week! Hell no daily!!! Pwede ba???? Kung sino man ang nakaisip ng mga kacheapang to eh kayo kayo nalang! Pshhh. If I know negosyante nakaisip nito! Or yung mga batang malalanding di umaabot ng anniversary ang relasyon. Tsktsk. Nakakastress! Imagine? Sobrang gastos nyan at sobrang clingy-type kasi diba required kayo na magcelebrate. Di rin ako yung ma-bear o ma-flowers. Chocolates siguro pwede, pero dapat dark. Hayyy. Oh well, kanya kanya nga namang trip yan pero yun nga..not my type.

#8. I am not into PDA.
          Yes. The Public Display of Affection. Nakakairita lang! Di ko lang masikmura ang sarili ko na kinasusuklaman ko kasi nasusuklam ako sa mga gumaganito. Yung mga couple shirts, mugs, umbrella, tsinelas, tootbrush, toys, screwdrivers, utensils, knives, molos at kung anek anek pang merchandise.. KADIRI LANG! Nuff said.


#7. I am very vocal. I am fluent in sarcasm and profanity.
            Sorry. I couldn't help it. This is how I really am. If I am not talking then it's a bigger problem for you to handle.  Simple lang, dapat wag kang tatanga-tanga at di ka balat-sibuyas :) Sometimes kasi (joke, most of the time 'to) this is how I make connection with people. If I get to use foul words to them, then I feel comfortable already. Ibig sabihin, feeling ko, close na tayo! :D

#6  I eat like a construction worker. Lels~
               Oh baket???? At least honest diba? HAHAHA. :))))  At hindi lang pala ko basta basta kumakain, pihikan ako sa pagkain. Sobrang moody lang ng panlasa ko. At kung ano gusto ko, dapat masusunod. Hehe. Yan ang sikreto kaya di ako manaba. Ang arteh ko kasi! :P

#5 Just mentioned in #6: MAARTE AKO.
                Normal naman ata sa babae yun. Pero I make sure naman na binabagayan yung kaartehan ko. Sa pagkain? Forever na yun siguro. Di naman ako ma-make up, sakto lang. Di ako ganun ka-vain. Hmmm...Pano bang maarte? Basta. Hahaha. Napaka abstract pala ng kaartehan! Lol

#4 I've got crazy ideas and impulsive wants/cravings.
                 Kadikit siguro to nung #5. Hehe. I've got demands that must be met. Oo. Puro kaartehan lang din. HAHAHAHAHA. Basta kung ano lang maisipan ko, syempre dapat masakyan ang trip ko. >:)) Depende, for example gusto ko bigla makakita ng elepante or maglaro ng chinese garter. Ganong ka-extremes. As in. Depende sa topak ko. Lol :))))

#3 SELOSA AKO. SOBRA.
                   I think every girl has insecurities naman. Well, as for me, ayoko lang talaga ng ganitong pakiramdam kasi sobrang low ng self-esteem ko. IKR? HAHAHAHA. Ang yabang ko lang tapos biglang sabing low self-esteem? Waw! HAHA. Seryoso. Basta, I have so many issues about my self na pag may ganitong involve na feeling sobrang affected talaga ko. Di pa naman ako papatay! Pero ewan ko lang din..Haha. Pero yung talagang dadamdamin ko and mababawasan ako ng kumpyasa lalo sa sarili.

#2 When you got me, #s 10, 8 and 7 will somehow be out of my mind already. Lels~              
                    Definitely love is blind. Lol. If the intensity of the feelings will be greater, then the mentioned numbers above will surely be disregarded. By whom? By me. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Eh ganon talaga? Ano? Forever akong masama? Di ba pwedeng maglambing din? Malambing naman ako eh. Pramis! :"> Proven yan. :P

#1 I am not really looking for a boyfriend. 
                      I am a self-claimed hopeless-romantic. That's why I don't celebrate month-saries and the like. I am not the short-term type. I  am waiting for my true love. Ge ge. Pagtawanan mo ko pero yan ang totoo. I don't want to be just anybody's girlfriend. I want to be someone else's destiny. Haha. Kapal ko ba? Syempre no? Kasi I make sure that when I found the person, I will give him everything the best I can. Mahirap talaga ko i-please, that's a fact. But once you did, jackpot ka naman! I hope I made my points clear. Bow. Haha. ^___^

The only thing constant in this world is CHANGE.

Yeah. Just changed my blog theme. Err..background. The same as my twitter's. 

Wala lang. Feel ko lang. Lol. Sarap sa mata eh. So kahit di mo gusto nababasa mo dito, at least cool pa din ang effect ng blog ko. Lels~ HAHAHAHAHA. Kahit na mukha ko pa rin naman ang nakadisplay. :p

Will update more often. Ganyan talaga. Bum eh. :|

I told you. You'll regret this.

It's been awhile. And yet I still miss you. Not that much. Just enough.

Why is it hard to forget you? How can I forget you if there are lots of things that keep me reminding of you. Your scent that I cannot erase from my memory. I remember one time I was walking from Calamba Terminal and then I just sniffed this your scent, I slowed down even though I know that it's impossible to be you I will find. Also the bouquet of wilted rose I have in my room. My aunt told me to put it away in trash I just don't know what's holding me back.

That bouquet. You gave that to me as a Valentine gift year 2010. I told you I wanted to be serenaded by my brods and get a bouquet. I didn't expect you would materialize it. Because it's not your personality to be sweet and thoughtful. And then I was surprised by them in my Stat1 Lecture class. I was the only girl to get serenaded and be given such treat with my handsome brods of course! I was so shy! I wasn't able to concentrate on the pop quiz and the whole lecture after that! You picked me up after the class and I told you how expensive the bouquet was. It was one and a half dozen of red roses! I just thought that you could have used the money for other things or just bought a dozen instead. And yes, we had fight over this. Hehe. You thought that I didn't appreciate what you've done. My point was it wasn't your effort at all. You just paid the roses and the services but it wasn't you who made it possible. I just wish you could surprise me by some other things you did your own. But you never understood.

How can I forget you if when I'm touching myself all I could imagine is you? Are you thinking of somebody else? Or you are too busy with your guitars and laptop? Or I should stop this and be holy again. I should have stopped long ago but it's too painful for me. I still care. I can't fool myself.

Someday, when you realize how important am I to you, that you still love me and want me back. you'll come back to me and do everything to make our relationship work again. I swear, NO MORE! Even though I still love you and I still care, one thing is for sure.. I don't like you anymore.