In memory of Nemo, my iPod.

I'm still in grief over the loss of my beloved iPod. It's five months old and I just realized that I didn't give it any name! Also, I was just recently informed that it's 6th generation--not 5th! See? I am not really techie. 

I am really sad to its loss but something that I can continue with my life like it's nothing. I wish I am like this when it comes to love.. Sigh.

Anyways, here are my realizations after Nemo's loss:

1. When I bought it, I had this gut feeling that it won't stay with me for a long time. Weird huh? Yes. But I didn't expect it to be this sooner! :'(
2. Maybe it's loss is a way of saying that I should pray the rosary instead of listening to worldly music. When I was in high school, going to school, I always pray the rosary in the jeepney. It's been a long time since I last pray the rosary. Add the fact that my favorite rosary got lost. And recently, I just found it. Coincidence?
3. They say that when you lost something, something bigger and better will replace it. Well, in my case, I have to patiently wait..if there is something waiting for?
4. Truth is, I feel kawawa. Nothing left for me. I still have my phone and Nobi though, but my iPod is the most precious thing to me! Nemo understands my mood. It's my companion. It's my confidant. It's my best friend! :((((

Now, I don't know. Nakakawalang-gana na e..

The Day They Took My Life Away

I think the universe has put all its tricks and jokes on me. Today is not a good day. I woke up from a very peculiar dream. It was Dra. Vicky Tandoc! Yes! The Mama Tandoc. Lol. And it didn’t feel right. It was soooo awkward like everything was real. She talked to me to stop pestering his son—in the most awkward way! KDOT. But after that dream, I just realized that I should. I HAVE TO. I MUST DO.

I woke up with the sun exaggeratedly extending all its rays over the window pane and it was only 10 past six am. I wasn’t really feeling okay. I had dry colds. If there is something like that? Lol. I couldn’t breathe properly. I was feeling irate, well up to this moment. I guess because of my raging hormones. I have my period. Second day. Ugggh. It sucks to be a girl! Really!

I tried waking up to my senses and start preparing off to work. When, the maid turned on the radio in to nakakadiring radio program (for me). It’s the show of Charlie and Cassie? Where two DJs debate over a topic and let hear callers’ opinions on air. Today’s topic? Charaaaaan! Sinong mas mabilis mag move-on? Babe ba o lalake? Hoho. IMBYERNA. Then suddenly, I heard Eica’s already in the bathroom. I hurriedly asked her to let me go first since Imma be late. Though this girl is really bratty, Eica understands. She’s acting like a baby not really suits her size—BABY DAMULAG, ika nga. But she’s cute and I love baby-talking. Haha.

Anyways, as I leave the house I always put on the earplugs and listen to my iPod. I listen to RX The Morning Rush all the way til I get to the office. The routine will start differently as today’s events changed everything.

I got on my usual routine bus—Jayross. There were too many passengers so I was seated at the backside of the bus. My strategy every time this happens is to anticipate passengers who will alight at every station and then quickly occupy vacated seat. This plan never fails me. This technique requires keenness, agility and speed. Like a ninja!  So when I was already at the front row in the bus this morning, I was really not feeling “ordinary”. I tried shrugging off this feeling by putting the volume’s up and enjoy the radio show. I put my iPod inside my bag, hanging—just to secure it’s inside.

I was really having a good time since today is Wednesday: songs being played are from the 90s. Oldies but goodies. Til I get to Philcoa... I was preparing myself to alight in Vizayas but because of the traffic jam or I dunno, I wasn’t able to do that in the spot I usually get off. I was furious getting off the bus because I was hitting 8:00am sharp for the time card. I pulled out my earplugs and just placed them over the zipper line of my bag (since the zipper line is deep making a bowl-shape surface). Timely, a pack of men all looked like the typical Filipino workers rushed towards my way getting in, while me getting out. I struggled getting out of the bus because of the number of standing passengers. As I get down the bus and walk across the street, I heard a tumbling sound of something from my bag. I got scared. I think of my iPod right away. As I get my iPod, I only found the earphones. I worried about my iPod though I know it is safe inside my bag. I couldn’t make sure of it because I was in a hurry. I walked as fast as I could to reach to the time card slot and hurried upstairs to the office. As I reached my workstation, I opened my bag and search for the iPod—and it’s not there anymore!

I searched every corner of my bag but I was hopeless. I was teary-eyed. I was depressed but there were no tears coming out of my eyes. My iPod. It’s the only thing I have! I don’t have any luxuries in life but that gadget alone! It’s my everything! It’s my life! I could not afford to buy a new one. Not this time. Sigh. Today, I don’t know. I’m having a hard time for the loss of my beloved iPod. My earphones hasn’t turned one month old! How am I going sustain the long hours of travelling back home or going to the office or to any other places? KILL ME NOW. I don’t want to live in this planet anymore!!!! T___________T

I was just amazed. Period.

Universal 6 Card Spread

Card 1 (Temperance) : How you feel about yourself now  »

You feel a need for harmony and balance in your life and indeed are starting to feel that some peace has already been restored. If you have been through some tough times, such as a break up of a relationship or financial problems, peace will be restored. However if you are still experiencing problems, this is a time for calm, careful control and patience and you will soon have a sense of normality again.

Card 2 (The Hierophant) : What you most want at this moment  »

The cards suggest that what you most want at this time is to have someone around you that you can trust and confide in, knowing that they won't let you down. There are moral issues here, knowing right from wrong, and you may feel that you need some advice or wise counsel from a teacher, priest, parent or someone you have a lot of respect for, in order to help you make the right decision.

Card 3 (The High Priestess) : Your fears  »

You are feeling uneasy and insecure, something in your gut is saying 'be careful, all is not as it seems' - something just doesn't feel right. If so, delay any decisions or actions until you have answered your concerns. If male this could signify a significant woman in your life being a bad influence.

Card 4 (The Tower) : What is going for you  »

Sometimes sudden disruptive change is inevitable, and as painful as it may seem, we come through it a stronger and better person. No matter how disruptive things are at the moment, or if you feel life is really against you, re-evaluate and move on - often a new direction can bring new opportunities you never dreamed of. If you have been planning to move home you will be experiencing setbacks.

Card 5 (Judgement) : What is going against you  »

If you allow fear to stop you from taking a chance or a new possibility then you will lose out. Do not ignore the new opportunities being presented to you - a decision, new job or relationship could change your life for the better. Do not refuse change when change at this time is vital - feel the fear and do it anyway. Outcomes may well be delayed, however this is a time for positive action and not passiveness.

Card 6 (The Fool) : Outcome  »

Open your mind and soul to new possibilities this is a time to realise your full potential, follow your instincts and act on your hunches. A time for spontaneity, fun and surprises. However, be mindful of being too impulsive - your decisions should be based on experience and knowledge of self.

Just Some Cards

Universal 6 Card Spread

Card 1 (The Tower) : How you feel about yourself now  »

You feel that the disruption and sweeping change you are going through, or fear you are about to go through, will be catastrophic. You need to recognise that such upheaval can force new directions that you never dreamed possible. Subconsciously you may have wanted change, but as is often the case, the solution isn't always as we expect. There could be problems relating to your property, or if considering a new property or move, progress will be thwarted.

Card 2 (The Fool) : What you most want at this moment  »

The cards suggest that what you most want at this time is just to be happy, and you are searching for the one thing that will bring happiness. You want a new start but feel unsure of what you want or where you want to go. Romantically you have mixed feelings regarding another - part of you wants to enter the relationship wholeheartedly, part of you wants to hold back. So if you are in a relationship that empowers you, stay, if not it is time to move on.

Card 3 (The Empress) : Your fears  »

You are feeling insecure, perhaps have money worries, as a parent you may have concerns over your children, or perhaps it's an unplanned pregnancy. There are people around you who love and care for you and they will give you support. Try not to be over protective and do not resort to emotional blackmail, it won't do you any favours.

Card 4 (The Sun) : What is going for you  »

The Sun is shining on you, it's your time for success, joy and happiness. You will feel confident and full of vitality. It's a time to celebrate with friends and loved ones, perhaps enjoy a well-earned holiday, a time of pleasure and good news around children or the conception or birth of a longed-for baby. If you are not feeling this way take heart, you will enter this period soon.

Card 5 (Wheel Of Fortune) : What is going against you  »

A run of bad luck here, perhaps already evident or certainly signs that things are not going your way. The responsibility of important decisions weigh heavy with you where there are choices to make. Trust your intuition, and even if you have to make the painful decision to give up something in order to move on, then have the courage to do it. Trust that The Wheel of Fortune constantly turns and whilst it may be against you at the moment it will in time turn and bring you good fortune.

Card 6 (The Magician) : Outcome  »

A time of positive action with great potential, you are full of self-belief and feeling very empowered. It's time to show everyone exactly what you're made of. You will have the ability to think on your feet and The Magician is an excellent omen for success.

http://www.free-tarot-reading.net/readings/reading.php

Half-hearted Happiness

You were in my dreams again. And I woke up late just to continue my temporary happiness. Screw you! I'm missing you again. I'm really tired of this. I thought of texting you or giving you a call yesterday. I realized that I don't have your gradpic yet, you might as well give me a copy just like last year I gave you mine even though we're not together by then.

And because I couldn't handle the pain any longer, I browsed through my contact list and messaged friends.Until, I stopped on someone's name. Okay. Message sent.

He replied and we exchanged texts. I blurted out my sadness and ranted just about everything that was on my mind last night. Then, he invited me to watch Hunger Games--his treat! OH GOD! I was the happiest! :D So, this time we're meeting at ATC. Hope this will be a good date. Last time's effin' FAIL. Lol.

I was happy because I could watch the movie. I wasn't because I have this feeling of using him. It scares me he might read the wrong signals. Anyway, I'll just watch the movie. Period. Haha.

Sorry Frances, I just couldn't wait anymore! But my promise of watching with you after the holy week is still good. :)

The Art of Multi-tasking

Have you tried reading, listening to your favorite radio program and posting on blog all at the same time? Yeah. That's me. That's what I'm doing right now. I'm listening to The Morning Rush, reading Young blood column in Inquirer.net and gathering all my thoughts over this. That's how bored I am. Hell week, I mean, Hell month is D-O-N-E. I don't know if I'm happy or what. I'm just excited to go home. I'm looking forward to the weekend. On how I'm going to spend it and have fun.

Yesterday, I listed down ALL the books I wanted to read for this year--11 of them. I pledged to read the printed word. And the TOP book in my list is: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. It costs almost Php700 in National Book Store. Hardbound. Hmmm.. I really wish I could finish first the Catching Fire and Mockingjay. My goal is to read one book per week. But how can I possibly do that? I'm hooked with all the prime time shows most especially Walang Hanggan and Dahil sa Pag-ibig. Lol

Haaay.. so much to do, sooo little time. I've also downloaded episodes of Once Upon A Time and the movie Hugo... adding This Means War and The Vow on the list. :P I'm planning to finish them all this weekend together with Catching Fire. Whew!

I'm missing a lot of good movies. Waaaah. I need a life! Someone ask me to watch Hunger Games!!! FREE. Lol. Fuck my life.

:|

Sobrang lost lang ako. Hindi nga lang ako nasabon ng boss ko kahapon eh. Kinula pa nya ko at isinampay.Pero hindi ako naiyak. Naanticipate ko kasi na mapapagalitan nya ko. Mali nga lang ng araw. Haaay. Ma-renew pa kaya ako? Nakakalungkot lang. Kung kelan naman kasi end of contract na tsaka pako pumalpak. Naisip ko tuloy. Ito ba ang gusto ko? Isang bwan nako nagpapakapuyat sa trabaho. Ultimo Sabado-Linggo gumagawa ako ng trabaho eh pero ganun parin yung bayad. Sinabi nya na ambagal ko daw magtrabaho. EH PUTANGINA PALA EH! Kung sinabi lang ng magaling nyang kapatid (Oo. May staff syang kapatid) ang gagawin ng isang pasada, eh di sana 2 weeks lang sakin yung trabaho! Tanginae! Napaka inefficient ko tuloy! Nakaapat na revisions tuloy ako!!! GRRRRRRR!!!!

Pero habang pinapagalitan nya ko, ewan. Chill lang. Siguro kasi matagal ko na iniintay na magalit sya sakin. Akala ko kasi hindi nya magagawa sakin eh. Ayun. Lol. Ansaya pala! Rawr! Haha.

Haaaay. Pero anlungkot ko. Buti nalang andyan si Chikoy. Namiss ko sya ng sobra. Sana magkita na kami. Andami na nyang plano. Ewan ko lang kung may matutupad. Sana.

Last Friday pala nung papunta ko sa finals ng AEMS, sa bus, may nakatabi ako na gwapo. Hehe. Eh medyo makulit ako nun tapos natatawa sya sakin. Hindi ko na kinaya, medyo nasiko ko sya at tinanong bat sya natatawa! Eh yun, nagkakwentuhan na kami. Wala naman ako balak na makipagkaibigan. Ang akin lang. Kinakausap ko sya ganun. Tapos bandang Calamba na nung nagpakilala na sya sakin. Keri lang. Tapos nung malapit nako sa Pansol..nilabas nya phone nya. Tinanong ako kung okay lang kunin number ko. Eh okay lang naman. Tapos yun. Monday na sya nagtext. Ang arte ko pa sa "who's this?" eh alam ko naman na sya yun. Lol

Scary lang si kuya (28 na kasi sya), kasi that day, nakikipagmeet na naman sya at gusto pa ko sabayan sa bus na naman! Jusko. Bye kuya!

Ayun wala lang. Out of focus ako eh. Haaay. Isama mo pa tong putanginag regla!