I have allotted ample time for him to prove himself (only without him knowing though). I'm getting tired of his daily shit. Of him not putting me on his priority list. Yes he spends time with me. He texts me from time to time but I WANT SOMETHING ELSE. I WANT MORE.
I want him to be mushy for me. I want him to surprise me. I expect a lot yesterday but that was it. The money he sent me for me to buy what I want was already gone. There was no sense of "personalization". Though I felt special in a way BUT I WAS REALLY EXPECTING MORE!!!
What really upsets me was finding out this morning of him greeting his stupid frat its anniversary with the change of cover and display photo and all! I know it's petty BUT.. SERIOUSLY??? He didn't even greet me on Facebook???
I am really disappointed. Frustrated. I just want to have a normal romantic relationship. Why is it so hard to get? Am I really that bad to deserve this kind of life???
I shouldn't be whining now. I had realizations when I turned 25. I was happy and really contented with my life..supposedly until he ruined everything.
I don't want to settle for less anymore. I don't deserve sacrificing my own happiness all for him. I am just tired. Truly tired.
I cannot bring this up because I know this will trigger a fight. I know him so well. He is a varsity in blaming game. All these shit will just be reverted back to me.
So, what now? Ignore. Kakaurat na.
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