I swallowed everything I said.

As in everything.

And I cannot believe myself! I never thought of it even in my wildest dream! WHY???
But yeah. As my mantra goes.. "NO REGRETS". Kdot.

Just I realized how evil I was when my ex and I were together. How did he even tolerate my mere existence! (Wow! Haha) I was soooo immature and childish and bratty and ugh.. Okay. Move on.

Here I am. Feeling like blind. Out of nowhere, who don't know where and what to start. I don't feel the old me. I don't even feel I am myself. I just go with the flow. And yet I am happier than before. I still have my expectations but I don't impose them anymore. I feel like a child. But not childish anymore. I don't know why I got here. I just felt it. It's a big risk but the hell I thought about it. If I got played again, then it's his loss. I think I'm wiser now. I think I can handle failures now. Better. I think? I wish.

Of course I still have my fears. A lot. I don't know what's with him that made me say yes...sooner. Maybe because I really don't believe in courtship? Or I just found my ideal man way back college. :p

"Fratman, gwapo, macho, matalino, ChemEng, sporty"

All those describe him. Funny is, I didn't meet him in College. Lols.

I never thought that I could find a man with ALL my criteria. (Lakas!) With how I think of the situation, maybe it's maturity. I learned how not to be idealistic. I'm just hoping for the best.  Literally, bahala na.