Another disappointment in life.

I don't know if I am going to be flattered or be sorry for myself when it comes to guys. Yes. Here I am talking about this nonsense...

Modesty aside, I really know that I am not ugly. Lol. HAHAHAHA. I mean when I like a cute guy or I am crushing on someone (GWAPO.Period), just my luck..likes me back. :p

However, this is not something for keeps. It's like flirtationship la la la...and most of the time it happens with (thanks but no thanks to) alcohol. This saddens me. Even if the guy is sooo damn hot or super duper cute, really bothersome because they all want the same thing. Oh you know what I'm talking about!

PUTANGINAYONGLAHAT!!! letse lang diba?

I don't wear revealing sexy clothes. Just jeans, shirt or blouse. Sometimes shorts but I see to it that I don't act flirty or something. I behave well. As far as I know, HINDI AKO MALANDI. I just don't get it why they always behave the same way towards me. WALANG PALYA! Tarages lang!

ANO KAYO SWERTE???

Or maybe at the back of their minds, I am the lucky one. Tsss. Sometimes, makes me think twice if I'll bite to their forbidden fruits..but. HAHAHAHAHA. 

NO! :|

So I leave them hanging. KTHNXBYE. >:)))

Yes I told myself I would like to have a Derek Ramsay and have fun (#NoOtherWoman) but I realized that I cannot have fun with that thingy..Errr. Basta yun. HAHA. I AM NOT FOR FUN.

Poor me. I think I'll never find a guy who knows how to respect. 

/wrist

Alcohol Everyday Makes the Bad Vibes Away!

I don't know if I will tell about this new guy that I have just met. Actually I haven't met him yet. Okay. Never mind. Hoho (Walang kwentang intro! HAHA)

So after what happened, I haven't stopped drinking. Lol

Last Friday was the last meeting presided by our Lady Chancellor who so happened to be my batchmate. I absent myself from work to be available. And as usual straight ahead to MusicHub! Blue Tempest Tower! Our favorite!

I laughed the hardest as if it was the last day of my life! Pau (my batchmate) never fails to make me roll laughing! It was a jukebox trip that night! Backstreet Boys to Westlife to N'sync to...wait up. Jovit Baldivino! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

But the bad side of this extreme happiness is when I reach the optimum, the mood suddenly changes like I am going to feel bad and sick. Yes. Weird it is. Worse, I puke all my heart out! Then poof. I cannot laugh anymore, :(

Good thing that night, I was in control. After MusicHub, we headed to our brods' apartment in Umali. Bought a bottle of The Bar Silver. (Putangina! HAHA) I have a 6-2pm duty and it was almost 1am when I tried sneaking out. Hoho. (Hindi pa nga ubos eh!) But of course they won't let me. I just insisted. So Pat (Letran brod) drove me to c9. Me. Staight to bed. PATAY! Haha

I woke up past 6am! My head was like drunk as skunk. My body was feeling weightless. Whoa! HAHAHA.

AKO NA LASHEEEEEEENG!!!


I went to Alumni Center groggy. All I did was sleep. Bow.

And after the shift, went straight to Las Pinas to visit Mara! HAHAHAHAHA.
His brother Job, opened the door with him saying " Hi, may lakad din ako!"
and me ended up saying "Oh? Where 'you going?"..

TENGENE. Sya nga dinayo ko eh! (Syempre bukod sayo Mara. HAHAHA) ///

Meet Job. Mara's baby brother. Yeap. He's only 3rd year HS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I know. :| Magagalit sakin si Mara kasi sya kumuha nyan at kelangan nandito muka ng kapatid nya? HAHAHA. Kamukang kamuka nya kasi dito si Froi. Lol. Corrupting minors. >:))))


So there, laslas ako. HAHAHAHA. It rained and all. The Pasta Carbonara was a drawing. We ended up watching No Other Woman. Yessss! Derek Ramsay! Beybeh! *Drooooooools*

Blockbuster. I wonder how many mistresses were watching? Lels~

A Derek Ramsay is enough for me. I won't be choosy anymore. HAHAHA. Ayyyy. No. I changed my mind. I'll be paranoid then thinking if he will be cheating on me or girls will die just to get him from me. Such stress! Also, I prefer to be more presentable than my partner. People's judgment thingy. If a handsome guy's girlfriend is unpretty...bash! At least, I won't be. Lol. Hehe.

Laugh trip! Bahahahaha

After movie what next? Yes. INOM! Lol

We were accompanied by Mara's cousin, Tracky to the nearest (parang di naman sa layo) convenience store. SanMig Light and Tanduay Ice for me. No hard please. HAHAHA. Honestly, I was still feeling dizzy up to that moment. Hehe

So ready to finish the business but the session turned out to be the two of us  (Mara and I) drinking. The boys (Renz, Mara's brother and her other cousins) were busy with Dota. Renz drank a bottle, Tracky was sick. Mara and I reminisced.

Tracky's place was to close so we transferred to Mara's house. It's a duplex by the way. Cool. 8D

Surprise! Job arrived! HAHAHA. I invited him over to drink and he said yes. (Galit na galit na sakin dito si Mara). He was shy, he stayed upstairs. Haha. To complete the night, their sister Cha also arrived at past 2am. Super cool siblings! :) I wish I had many brothers and sisters and you can drink with them! Super duper cool!

We bought more bottles. Mara didn't join us (Renz and Job). Renz drove the van without a license. HAHA. When we returned, the moment I've been waiting..Job's performance! (Keyborads)  HAHA. Fail! He was not able to finish songs that he played. Cha was already drunk from the party and we made fun of her. HAHA. We insisted her to drink one more bottle. Then she put out her project blah blah.. It was like a bomb with the lighting, wires and all! Lol

So fun! It was past 5am just when their father went downstairs for his early trip, we finished everything and head off to sleep. HAHAHA

Morning. Woke up at 10am. Stalked at Facebook (Sige. Nanlait na nga! HAHA) Had lunch at 12. Good food. Swagger mom (Tita Yeye). Best Nana (Their Granny). Cool family. :D

I found a new home. Lol.
Elpi it is! ♥

The weather condition is also my heart's

I should be studying right now instead of posting another entry about him.

These times. When the weather is cold and it's much better stay at home. The hugs and cuddles. Sleeping together. Those stuff. Errr. I miss him more. :|

Yesterday Pedring showed some wrath and Elbi was in total mess. Classes were suspended even the offices were closed. But not us in Alumni Hostel. Boo! >:/

I was alone inside the Alumni Center. There were CSBs outside but I don't care at all. Lels~ (suplada eh! Haha) Loneliness was trying to envelope me again. And because I was weak. I was trapped.

Good thing I had no more extra load to text him! :) So I diverted my attention to my few friends. Unfortunately there was a signal problem and only few did reply.

I contacted my AEMS friends and luckily they were there to confide me. Paw invited me over to drink! :))) Yes. Desperate moves. I was suicidal already. I said to myself that I will go to his dorm and invite him to SM Calamba and shoot him there! Lol

Kidding aside, I usually do this. Not the shooting part but the surprise visit to his dorm. This time, I think it's the 4th or 5th? :p I know visitors are not allowed to go there but I'm like a ninja! :)))) Unless they catch me.

I remember the time I was caught. It was my removal exam in 102 so I really need to see him so I can focus on my acads. I rushed upstairs. I forgot what unit it was. I just remember that his room is just across the stairs. I went fourth floor and the caretaker saw me. :p I just asked where is his unit. The caretaker told me that visitors are not allowed but the funny thing was he answered: "Sa baba po". :))))

Going back, so after my shift I head off to Whitehouse. Surprise! All my things were wet! @!#%$#^%$&^%*
MY YEARBOOK!!!!
I tried to dry them all then suddenly: BROWNOUT!

EH PUTANGINA LANG!!!!


So I did what I could do. I put way all the waters from the leaks using a doormat then transfer in the basin. Uggghhh. The bed was half wet. My things were in chaos. No electricity. No water.

ARRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Goodbye C9!!!

I went to eat out first. Walking through F.O, I saw his dorm and was imagining going there but then I focused my attention to buying ice in the corner. After I bought, I rode a tryk and went to Clemente. (There's actually no place like that. HAHA. It is FM Apartments.)

They welcomed me with THE BAR SILVER! :D

(I remember when we first drink this, it was the best feeling in the world! We were like floating! HAHAHA)


I don't get drunk lately. As in. Only sober.
I miss the feeling of being drunk. Being high. Being invincible and being all-out to your feelings.

So the three of us drank (Paw, me and Kelvin). We finished by washing with SanMig Light. The feeling was heaven! To my drunkenness, I puffed two sticks of cigarette. That's the indication that I am already tipsy. (I really don't smoke. I do this only when drunk)

Phoebe and Robert were going out for dinner so I joined them. I didn't notice that I was already in front of my ex's unit. HAHA. So I knocked and opened the door. I saw him in front of his laptop. He went outside furious. And I didn't know..I was already crying.

Seeing him was pointless. But at least I saw him.

He was really mad. I don't know why? All I really want was to check on him. His built is better now. I think he grew his muscles. I really wanted to hug him but all I ever said was I miss him.

He got even mad. I asked him what did I do. Then he let me go downstairs and brought me to them (Phoebe and Robert) He was really scary.

I was crying the whole night until we finished eating in Liemposilog's. I didn't care what people say about me. I really don't care at all.

I knew this is going to happen. I just miss him that I wanted to see him so badly. I knew that tears will fall but to see him was all I ever wanted.

That moment when he was furious and I was crying, in the back of my head I was really happy. I was already contented. I wanted to hug him but instead I slapped him in the face. And that made him hate me more...

I knew I shouldn't do that but it was my ego's will to defend myself. Going there was enough. I lost my pride long time ago. Up to now, I haven't redeemed myself yet.

Finally, I got drunk again. Also, my heart was broken into pieces for the nth time...

Loser. That's me. And I don't know if I will be able to learn or repeat this foolishness.

Utot ng Utak Bilang Blah Blah

Every week lang ako umuwi sa bahay. Kung uuwi man ako, ganito lang ang gagawin ko. Or manonood ng TV, matutulog...

Minsan ko nalang din kasi makita ang mga pinsan ko (medyo komplikado kasi ang set-up namen sa bahay. You know? Broken families?) 

Di na kami ganun nag-uusap dahil sa pagka-busy kasi hindi na rin naman kasi kami nagkikita. Nakasama din siguro yung wi-fi. 

Eh yun. Nakakalungkot lang kasi yun nga. Minsan ka na nga lang umuwi ganito pa? 

Binabalot talaga ko ng kalungkutan. Pero nakakayanan ko naman. Nakakalungkot lang kasi after CEMplangan, busy na ang lahat. Syempre kanya-kanyang acads na yan. Nawalan nako ng roommate. Eh anlake ng kama????Tapos yun nga.. patapos na yung work contract ko sa Alumni Hostel. Dagdagan pa ng patapos na din ang sem. 

And what does this mean? Ano pa? Eh di..GRADUATE NA KO! (SA WAKAS! SABOG CONFETTI!!!)

Yun na nga yung malungkot eh. Aalis nako sa elbi. Elbi na naging tahanan ko sa loob ng uhhmmm... Ayoko na pala bilangin! HAHAHAHAHA..

Nakakaiyak.

Yung mga maiiwan mo.

Yung iiwanan mo...

Bagong kabanata na naman ng buhay.

Takot pa ko eh. Hindi ko kasi alam ang mangyayari. Hindi ko alam kung sino ang mga bagong dadating. Hindi ko alam kung san ako mapapadpad. 

Pinilit kong maghanap ng trabaho sa Jobstreet kanina. Hindi ko alam ang kukunin kong trabaho o kung san ba ko magtatrabaho. Gusto ko sana sa malapit kaya lang parang gusto ko din lumayo. Naisip ko kasi basta. Anlabo ko. Lol

Kahit na buong sem ako na nasa elbi, gusto ko naman kahit papano na magstay sa bahay kahit konti. Pero ayokong magtagal. Gets? Kakatulungin lang ko eh! Hindi ako grumaduate para maging aliping saguigilid!!! 

Two weeks lang. Gusto ko after nun may pagkakaabalahan na agad. Swear! Hindi ko kaya talaga maging taumbahay!

Eh yun. Nung Friday kumuha nako ng Student's license sa LTO. Badtrip. Wala kasi yung hepe na hahanapin ko. Brod ko kasi yung General Director ng LTO eh sabi nya sakin ipakita ko lang yung message nya kay hepe.. Wengks! Waleeeeyy.

Yan na lang siguro aatupagin ko sa November: Mag-aral mag drive! 

Ang pinakamasaklap sa lahat ng ito...

KAWALAN NG PERA. ///

tapos wala ka pang boyfriend. CHARAUGHT!!! HAHAHA

T___________________T

This song reminds me of why you left me.

When some words are better left unsaid, there is always music to answer what are unexpressed.

Sugarfree ♥

This is my favorite band of all time!

Ever since high school, their songs are part of my every day journey. I can listen to their album over and over again. Their songs best describe every stages of life. Adolescence to adulthood. Actually bigger than  that. It's beyond phases. I am just amazed by how they put every story into a song then into albums. Here are my favorite Sugarfree songs and what I got from each.

HARI NG SABLAY taught me how to accept imperfections making the most out of it. Loser? Yes. But be the BEST LOSER in town! >:)))

KWENTUHAN taught me how small talks could lead to budding romance. Lels~ (Kwentuhan nga diba? Hindi dapat landian!) HAHAHAHA

PROM taught me how to flirt. Lels~ HAHAHAHAHA. This debunked the usual Filipina gesture and ethics of not doing anything for someone you like. You know what I mean? HAHA.:))) Not courting of course but the first moves I must say. Sending motives and hidden messages? (Sige na nga. Flirting na lang!) HAHAHAHA

SINTA has taught me how to open my senses more than what eyes could see.. :">

TULOG NA taught me how to relax in handling problems and be just like a baby in slumber. It's a lullaby for grown-ups. :">

WALA NANG HIHILINGIN taught me how to be contented in life when you're with someone you love ♥

WAG KA NG UMIYAK taught me how to depend on someone. Trust, faith and love. CHARAUGHT!

KWARTO taught me how is it to have a broken heart and let go of the things that makes me remember of the past...Yes. That room..

KUNG AYAW MO NA SA AKIN taught me how to move on and at the same time hope and wait and wait...that "that someone" will eventually come back. Lol. Lyrics of this song actually apply to me..until now.  HOHO :P I just love singing this song. Very witty and catchy yet sooo sincere and heartfelt. TAGOS!

MARIPOSA taught me that loneliness kills. #slashwrist ///

HANGOVER taught me that moving on is not as easy as pie. Getting drunk isn't enough to take the pain away.. ///

and lastly

BURNOUT taught me that great love never fades away... ♥

Oh kay tagal kitang minahal

Oh kay tagal kitang mamahalin...

You know what else Sugarfree taught me? Not another song... but the band as a whole. It's the fact that everything has its end. :( Even this band also broke apart. Just as mine did. 

This picture was taken at Sugarfree's farewell concert. Paalam Pilipinas March 1, 2011 in Eastwood City.

"We" rushed to this event all the way from elbi. And I never thought...never in my wildest dreams that this day would ever happen! 

This is the best band in the Philippines! My favorite! My ♥

Just like that?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

But what surprised me more was...

after four days, He left me... just also like that.

Paalam.