The weather condition is also my heart's

I should be studying right now instead of posting another entry about him.

These times. When the weather is cold and it's much better stay at home. The hugs and cuddles. Sleeping together. Those stuff. Errr. I miss him more. :|

Yesterday Pedring showed some wrath and Elbi was in total mess. Classes were suspended even the offices were closed. But not us in Alumni Hostel. Boo! >:/

I was alone inside the Alumni Center. There were CSBs outside but I don't care at all. Lels~ (suplada eh! Haha) Loneliness was trying to envelope me again. And because I was weak. I was trapped.

Good thing I had no more extra load to text him! :) So I diverted my attention to my few friends. Unfortunately there was a signal problem and only few did reply.

I contacted my AEMS friends and luckily they were there to confide me. Paw invited me over to drink! :))) Yes. Desperate moves. I was suicidal already. I said to myself that I will go to his dorm and invite him to SM Calamba and shoot him there! Lol

Kidding aside, I usually do this. Not the shooting part but the surprise visit to his dorm. This time, I think it's the 4th or 5th? :p I know visitors are not allowed to go there but I'm like a ninja! :)))) Unless they catch me.

I remember the time I was caught. It was my removal exam in 102 so I really need to see him so I can focus on my acads. I rushed upstairs. I forgot what unit it was. I just remember that his room is just across the stairs. I went fourth floor and the caretaker saw me. :p I just asked where is his unit. The caretaker told me that visitors are not allowed but the funny thing was he answered: "Sa baba po". :))))

Going back, so after my shift I head off to Whitehouse. Surprise! All my things were wet! @!#%$#^%$&^%*
MY YEARBOOK!!!!
I tried to dry them all then suddenly: BROWNOUT!

EH PUTANGINA LANG!!!!


So I did what I could do. I put way all the waters from the leaks using a doormat then transfer in the basin. Uggghhh. The bed was half wet. My things were in chaos. No electricity. No water.

ARRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Goodbye C9!!!

I went to eat out first. Walking through F.O, I saw his dorm and was imagining going there but then I focused my attention to buying ice in the corner. After I bought, I rode a tryk and went to Clemente. (There's actually no place like that. HAHA. It is FM Apartments.)

They welcomed me with THE BAR SILVER! :D

(I remember when we first drink this, it was the best feeling in the world! We were like floating! HAHAHA)


I don't get drunk lately. As in. Only sober.
I miss the feeling of being drunk. Being high. Being invincible and being all-out to your feelings.

So the three of us drank (Paw, me and Kelvin). We finished by washing with SanMig Light. The feeling was heaven! To my drunkenness, I puffed two sticks of cigarette. That's the indication that I am already tipsy. (I really don't smoke. I do this only when drunk)

Phoebe and Robert were going out for dinner so I joined them. I didn't notice that I was already in front of my ex's unit. HAHA. So I knocked and opened the door. I saw him in front of his laptop. He went outside furious. And I didn't know..I was already crying.

Seeing him was pointless. But at least I saw him.

He was really mad. I don't know why? All I really want was to check on him. His built is better now. I think he grew his muscles. I really wanted to hug him but all I ever said was I miss him.

He got even mad. I asked him what did I do. Then he let me go downstairs and brought me to them (Phoebe and Robert) He was really scary.

I was crying the whole night until we finished eating in Liemposilog's. I didn't care what people say about me. I really don't care at all.

I knew this is going to happen. I just miss him that I wanted to see him so badly. I knew that tears will fall but to see him was all I ever wanted.

That moment when he was furious and I was crying, in the back of my head I was really happy. I was already contented. I wanted to hug him but instead I slapped him in the face. And that made him hate me more...

I knew I shouldn't do that but it was my ego's will to defend myself. Going there was enough. I lost my pride long time ago. Up to now, I haven't redeemed myself yet.

Finally, I got drunk again. Also, my heart was broken into pieces for the nth time...

Loser. That's me. And I don't know if I will be able to learn or repeat this foolishness.