It goes on and on and on...

Akalain mo nga naman? Saktong pag gawa ko ng blog na to..22 nga pala ngayon? And what's with the number?

Today should be our 23rd month together.


And it's past six months since he broke up with me. 


Looking back, it's like.. Oh my God! Really that fast! Naka sixteen months talaga kami? Parang ang bilis! Parang hindi naman. Parang kulang...


Hindi ko tuloy maisip yung mga nagkakarelasyon na bwan lang ang itinagal. Much worse weeks or days. Pano? Sobrang iksi nun! May love na ba talaga don? Serysoso? Hindi nga??? (waw! Dami sinabe! HAHAHAHA)




I don't look for love. I don't search for it. I patiently wait...
Because when I love, I give my all. (sounds stupid but it's just the way it is). Maybe I read so much fairy tales during my childhood and watched so much chick-flick movies that made all my hopes high and expect a lot from TRUE LOVE.


I remember in high school, itinaga ko sa bato, na hindi ako magboboyfriend ng naka-uniform!


Nakakadiri kaya! Ang bata-bata nyo pa, ang landi landi na! Hindi rin ako ma-PDA. Ewwwwwssss. As in! Uuugggghhhh. Pwede ba????


Then I entered UP. Second semester I joined a sorority and that brought all my senses open. I was exposed to  reality!Lels~ Everything outside of my comfort zone. I had a crush on my brod..my first heart break. Hoho (Mage-eighteen palang ako nun). The feelings were mutual but I really never knew why he did not pursue me.///

He was my first heart break. Those times were the happiest, saddest and much more of a roller coaster ride of my college life!

I will never forget that because after that sem, I cut my hair sooooo short that I don't want to remember how I look and just bury all those pictures of the past! It was really a tough time for me. The toughest of all!

So where is this post going? Lol

This is the beginning of the so-called "ZMJ CYCLE".
Jay-ar, my batchmate in AEMS coined this term to explain the phenomena of love that is happening to me.

From crush..to flirting..to love..almost there..then poof! Disappear!
(bucket of tears please!)

It never comes away. Always the same.

The third guy was my ex-boyfriend. I never thought that he would continue the cycle. Lol
Imagine? Sixteen months? And we don't even have fights or any problem when that day he decided to split up!

Siguro ganun nga. Hindi pinipili ang minamahal. Hindi rin napipilit, hindi hinahanap. Hindi hinihintay. Basta dadating na lang.Pag dumating, masaya ka. Dapat lang magpakasaya na tapos hayaan lang maging masaya. Kasi kapag oras na para lumisan walang ibang mararamdaman kundi pait at sakit.
Tapos iiyak ka hanggang sa maubos lahat ng luha sa mata mo, hanggang sa mapagod ka na at magsawa. Ilang panahon pa darating na uli ang saya. Ganun lang. Paikot-ikot. Paulit-ulit. Ang tanong na lang ngayon siguro eh kung sino ang hahayaan mong sumunod sa siklo...




And because of this theory, I lost my faith in love.
Bow.