This is what uncompensated employee does..

Just stressed.

It's been a while since I cried. And the reason is not him. Lol. 

Yesterday. I was so furious and felt that the world is soooo UNFAIR! I can't give the details. I might explode again. Karla was with me to have Gong Cha and indulged myself over McDo's cheeseburger and fries. I feel sorry for her. I knew I shocked her with my behavior. Hoho. Yeah. I cried while ranting down the stairs of the DA Building until we get to SM North! The Hell I care! I just needed to release all my bad vibes! How I wish I could have someone I could throw a punch in the face! Apply what I learned from my Boxing lessons..

I realized one thing after, that it is very easy for me to make me happy. Small things. In that sense. I am shallow. The same by how I can be upset.

Back to the cycle

I am feeling lonely again. I guess because I saw his pictures again using my dummy account yesterday. Stop judging. Everyone does it! It crushed me inside seeing him with his friends (who I never met) and with Jolo (Kath's ex-but-still-seeing-each other) add the fact that the person who uploaded the picture has a crush on him.

I'm missing him again and I feel weak. I am not the person I was before. To avoid messaging him, because it's totally pointless, I ran again through my contact list and messaged two guys. The first one was Ivan. Yeah. Why did he cross my mind after what he's done to me? But ugggh. I sent the message anyway. Second one was PJ. I still remembered how he embarrassed me in front of many educated people! I realized, I don't really have guy friends. I don't include my brods and closest guys of course. I mean, guys I can have something. Malice. Lol. You know? I miss the feeling of kinikilig. Yung may malisya. Haha

After a while of contemplating my life on earth, my phone rang. I was hesitant of answering it because the number was not registered in my contact list. I pressed the green button and asked who it was then I heard a voice that sounded familiar. I was really nervous. It was Froi's voice.

He spoke in a very low-tone voice, "Si PJ to". Okaaaaay. BASAG. After all this time I was still waiting for him to do that? Seriously?! Haaaay. I am a self-confessed pathetic!

I was really shocked! Why would he call me? So I just entertained him. Nakakahiya naman sa pagtawag nya. Until we arrived to having a date next month in his area. WTF. Faster than a speed of light! Maybe I am over analyzing things. This time, I don't want to put malice here. Lol. Not him. Not PJ Bautista. Yeah I know. My criteria in finding a guy includes "brainy" but not summa cum laude-class valedictorian PJ level!!!

I am becoming needy again. I don't want to fall back into the old cycle. The problem is, I am too choosy. How will I be able to compromise this? Tss.

Silver Tassle

Happy Graduation to me! :D

Days had passed and I must say that the momentum for posting about this bores me now. As previously mentioned, yeah, it's gone. I wore a simple magenta dress. I just borrowed shoes from my Tita Marie which resulted to feet sores! I had my make up done by my close relative. My closest cousins Jay and Kuya Pao weren't able to come since Jay had to attend to his OJT and the car could only accommodate six people. Add the fact that it's too hot, the traffic and ugggh, just excuses.

My Lola Abe insisted to come though I told everybody that it's hassle to tag her since she's 89 already, the extreme weather and the open-field venue. Oh well. She waited for this moment. I realized she loves me that much! :"> Kuya Michael missed his 15-year HS Class Reunion just to attend to my graduation that really made my heart melt!

I returned Going Lala by Alexandra Potter to Tandybear though I'm still few pages left to finish reading it. :( I had few Kodak moments with my orgmates and former classmates. It's sad. Too late to realize to graduate with your original batchmates is more fun! During the procession, I was overwhelmed by the number of people who greeted me and took me pictures! My other co-graduates were jealous of how I got those "fans". LOL
They didn't know, inside, I was screaming to death over my feet's suffering! Just I reached my seat, I took off my shoes and got relieved by the well-taken-care-grass. Hallelujiah!

Before I realized it, the ceremony has ended. It was not the graduation rites that I was expecting. No chills. No goosebumps or teary eyes. Maybe because the Valedictory Address pissed me off. Or time has passed me by. Or I didn't have the chance to finally say goodbye. Yeah. Up to the last moment I was expecting to have crossroads with him. But the was no single chance. And this was my ultimatum. Now or never again. Just sad. I might never see him again.. I just have to accept it.

One thing I loved about this day was, after I wake up the next day, even though in dress and still in make up, I will not have to worry about getting a job! :)

One day before the graduation day

It would be hypocrite of me if I didn't blog about my graduation day. Yes. The UPLB's 40th Commencement Exercises. It's two years overdue and I cannot let this moment slip away yet I know that the excitement of finally "graduating" is...sigh.. not there anymore.

Of course you can't blame me. I've been working for a year already and I cannot experience what they say every-college-grad-after-graduation-dillema: UNEMPLOYMENT. I've been there. Ha! Maybe, graduating first semester was really God's plan for me. Of not having too much saturation in the unemployment pool. Cool. 

I absent myself for the graduation rehearsals with agenda in mind. First, I will be getting the Tax Refund amounting to Php3800+. Secondly, I will be getting my Transcript of Records that has been in the University Registrar for three months. And thirdly, to get valid IDs from different agencies/units.

Unfortunately, I wasted my precious time. I didn't know that getting TIN ID, employers will do the processing. So void. We don't have taxes. FAIL. I went ahead to SSS in Parian and got overwhelmed by the long queues! After I got the form, which before I got it, I lied by saying that I earn a living doing VMobile. Where the heck did I get that??? I am not really good at lying. I think the teller noticed that I am not telling the truth! So I left hurriedly thinking that when I come back he won't recognize me.

I also have a rush office work to finish. If I only did that instead of wasting time commuting and going there for nothing! Oh well. I can't complain. No regrets :)

So I went home: NGA-NGA! Rested for a while and changed my bag. My former classmate who graduated cum laude texted me informing that 1PM that afternoon was the DAME Testimonial and Prof. Jimmy Williams will be the guest speaker. I got excited though I only got a three from the most favorite (terror) professor in CEM. I wasn't prepared! But I really wanted to go though I have still things to do in my bucket list.

In short, I arrived in elbi past 12PM. Clemente peeps welcomed me with nonstop laughter! One of the most happiest moments of my life! :))))) The original plan was Tandybear will come over my house for us to make white cheese but everybody disagreed so I stayed until the rest of the night.

We had lunch in McDo and they accompanied me to the Admin Building for my check. Unfortunately, my tax refund is a week to process, so another NGA-NGA! It's true. Always use the cash-on-hand instead of the receivables in budgeting or you'll get disappointed like me! Grrrrr!  I was really ashamed of myself! I owe Dayne Php500 for the rush typing job I offered her. :(

After that, we gatecrashed the DAME Testimonial. It was PJ Bautista (last year's class valedictorian) who was speaking that time when we arrived. Tandybear and I were really shy to go inside. We were just insisted by my former classmate. When we were to find our seats at the back, PJ got distracted and noticed me and said hi! Imagine that scene! NAKAKAHIYAAAAAA!!! :(((((( Eveybody was in their formal attire and they were listening. Graduates and faculties. Then, BOOM! Why PJ? WHY???? /// T______T

After Sir Jimmy's speech, we left the event to get my TOR. After there, we stayed in AEMS Tambayan and had fun over Joyce's iPhone 4S. Until, someone mentioned his name. And that he was approaching us. It's Froi. And it's awkward. He shaked-hands with everybody, then when it was my turn.. he demanded doing the gesture with me...grumpily! Grrrrr! As if I wanted to do it?! 

I just watched him. Tandybear greeted him saying that he probably didn't know that she was there. And he got angry! He said things to his sister as if she was not his older sibling! Tsktsk. At the back of my mind, I was really disappointed. He was like that again. Bad-tempered. Disrespectful to his sister. When we were together, I always tell him to love his family most especially his ate who is always there. But now seeing him having fight with my friend over small things.. Seriously? Where're your manners man? 

And he haunted me all through out that afternoon. When we walked to the assembly venue, we passed him. I was uncomfortable. Worse, in our line, he sat near us. What's wrong with him? I can't count how many times are eyes met. He won't make a deal out of it. But it annoys me! Then I realized, I only had two days left to see him...

--to be continued--

Little by little..

Yay! Today I got my first TEV (Travel Expenses Voucher). It's a reimbursement from my previous travels: Pampanga and Nueva Vizcaya amounting to Php3020.00! But honestly, when I first heard about it, I was hesitant to get it. Here are my reasons:

1. When we traveled, I didn't pay any single cent for anything. (Travel, board and lodging, etc.)
2. Besides, I was always full that I can't even finish what's on my plate! (Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, late snack) GLUTTONY!!!
3. Other than that, we have tokens (delicacies, bags, blanket sheet) courtesy of the sponsor regional unit. See? You arrive there penniless, still you'll have things to bring home!
4. In the voucher, there are items that I really myself did not purchase/use. E.g. the taxi fare.
5. No matter what they say about it, for me it is still a form of CORRUPTION!

I was enlightened by my office mate. She said that the budget for travel is just being stretched for it to be liquidated. That's why, aside from the regional units that is in charged of any activity, staff receives reimbursements in the form of TEVs.

But still, I am not convinced! Imagine how much money is being used for every travel expense? Oh God! As a newly graduate from the premiere state university, I had inculcated in my heart and soul HONOR AND EXCELLENCE.

And yet after this post, I still have with me encashed the Php3020.00 TEV.

Another milestone.

April 14, 2012.


I got inked. ♥
Finally. I had my long time dream come true! :) 


It's a 2x4 inches tattoo inculcated in my right-side, just under the bra strap--ribs beybeh! \m/
When I showed the artist my design, he asked me twice or thrice where I want to put it. He was shocked and repeatedly asked me if my decision is final. I said YES!!!


He told me that in that part is the most painful area to have a tattoo because the skin is thin and the bones are prominent. I don't care! I want it there. So when the pattern was finished. I removed my shirt-- I was wearing a sports bra as top. 


I lied down in the couch facing left. I was nervous and my feet were cold but I can't turn back. I was already there. Whew! 


Good thing, the music was loud. hard-rockin' I could tolerate the pain. Actually it wasn't painful at all. It's like you're being injected--for an hour! That's it. There was no blood too. I was accompanied by my sis in Letran, Rorie. After a while, I asked her what letter was finished and she said "o". OMG! After she said that, I really wanted to go home! I could already feel the pain of the needle pricking my skin! By the way, the needle is 4 inches long! It was too late to quit and the sense of my tattoo will be void. But after that, I was already able to see what's going on so I just watched the artist how he does it. 


Until I get used to it and be entertained on how he engraved those letters on my skin. I felt numb. I don't know how I could explain it but the pain was like nothing compared to emotional pain I've been through. I know. Emoshit. But that's true. Getting a tattoo is really a self-expression. Now I realized why people get addicted on getting this. It's an art and incomprehensible just between you and the tattoo. 


I just wish my family won't find out. They can't or I'm dead! :p